Pulling double duty, beloved pop superstar Charli XCX was a great host and fine musical guest on a well-written and cameo-rich Saturday Night Live episode (including the Lonely Island, Alec Baldwin, Dana Carvey and Kyle Mooney), though having already limited their screen time this season, SNL continues to do please don't destroy dirty, announcing a video for tonight's episode in the opening credits but then cutting it for time (though Americans saw the pdd boys in an Allstate insurance commercial that ran on NBC proper). Here's everything that actually happened on SNL this week.
The Cold Open
James Austin Johnson and Dana Carvey appeared as President-Elect Donald J. Trump and President Joe Biden, respectively, meeting for the first time in the White House since the election and speaking with the press. After dismissing the media, the pair admitted they both hated the job and revelled in their senility. Trump bragged about his rogues' gallery of cabinet picks, which drew laughs from the audience. Looking a little like a cross between a young Jack Nicholson and Quagmire, Sarah Sherman appeared as Matt Gaetz before Alec Baldwin conjured a demonstrably unhealthy Robert Kennedy Jr., whom Trump has chosen to be his health czar, and after he left and a bit more presidential banter, this fine open closed.
The Monologue
Charli XCX gave us a brief biographical overview of her musical trajectory, including secretly attending raves as a teen, before demonstrating the merits of Auto-Tune. She then explained what "brat" might mean, using some odd examples. In a surprising walk-on, former cast member Kyle Mooney tried to claim he was brat, and then tryhard Charli promised us a great show.
Kelsey's Baby Shower
Chloe Fineman and Andrew Dismuskes reprised their very recent roles as a dysfunctional couple (first seen earlier this season when Ariana Grande hosted), this time celebrating a baby shower with her Kels Squad. To the tune of Chappell Roan's "HOT TO GO!," Charli, Heidi Gardner, Ego Nwodim and Sarah Sherman sang a salacious song about Kelsey's not-so-secret lover, Domingo, hilariously played by Marcello Hernández. With the continued added touch of having pop singers and the cast purposely sing out of tune, the way a gaggle of sauced friends at a function actually would, and Hernández's perfect tone and posture for a clueless homewrecker, this was amazing.
Wicked Screen Tests
In a classic SNL impression-fest structure, rejected screen tests for the film Wicked were shownm including auditions by Bad Bunny, Al Pacino, Charli XCX, Troye Sivan, Sydney Sweeney, Martha Stewart and many more. As the format goes, this was reliably strong.
Thanksgiving Baking Challenge
In this baking show, judges assessed contestants' Thanksgiving-themed animatronic cakes. Marcello Hernández played the first baker and revealed an awful cake that looked like it was made by a five-year-old. Charli played Julianna, a British contestant who didn't normally celebrate Thanksgiving, and the cake she made seemed to resemble a naked woman spreading her legs, which was disturbing. After Heidi Gardner's character was rejected outright, Kyle Mooney appeared briefly to show off a dildo cake, which completed the sex cakes premise of this slight idea.
An SNL Digital Short: "Here I Go"
Andy Samberg appeared in a Lonely Island music video about a neighbour who cheerily called the cops on people who harmlessly came near his property. Charli CVX joined in on the upbeat snitchery, which was very funny.
Banger Boyz
Andrew Dismukes, Marcello Hernández and Emil Wakim played douchebag podcast hosts, while Charli portrayed their affable producer, Kara. Between questionable sponsor plugs, the crew revealed themselves to be increasingly stupid, but not stupid enough to not be named Secretary of Commerce and Ambassador to Iran by recent guest Donald Trump. An eerily accurate send-up of clueless right-wing pod bros like the Nelk Boys.
Charli XCX
Introduced by Julia Fox and appearing in a giant brat green box, Charli XCX took a victory lap after arguably having the biggest cultural impact of the summer, exciting the studio audience with "360," which was more vamp than song, but she was feeling herself, so good for her.
Huge letters proclaimed Charli to be a "Party Girl," as a backing track inspired her to dance and strut across the stage, while her impassioned Auto-Tuned voice rang out through the electro cacophony of "Sympathy is a knife," which was the strongest of her two performances tonight.
Weekend Update
Colin Jost began Update by mocking Trump's cabinet picks, including alleged pedophile Matt Gaetz. Michael Che gleefully ridiculed Elon Musk, who is apparently annoying everyone on Trump's team. Jost also spent time satirizing anti-vaxxer RFK Jr., while Che went after Rudy Giuliani's court-ordered bankruptcy. Che also mocked a New Jersey drought warning, while Jost rightly scolded everyone who watched the Mike Tyson fight on Netflix.
Bowen Yang appeared as "Tiger King" Joe Exotic, who pleaded to be pardoned by President-elect Donald Trump. Not sure why a kernel of Tiger King news necessitated this, but it killed some time.
Jost told us about a Spirit Airlines flight to Haiti that went awry. Che told a pretty remarkable joke about the timeline on America electing a woman as president, and then earned more groans for a joke about church sex abuse. Jost laughed through a Wicked porn site mishap, and Che got a big laugh for a masturbation joke.
Sarah Sherman appeared as Hazel, the widow of a NYC squirrel named Peanut. Quite a dramatic bit of physical comedy by Sherman here, which was aided by comical sound effects and still managed to conjure the salacious, feigned sexual tension between Sherman and Jost.
Strop Acting Academy
Marcello Hernández played a pretentious acting teacher who put his pupils through their paces, mostly to train them how to land commercials. He had a teacher's pet in Alyssa, played by Charli, but others, who doubted his techniques, were scorned. A nice blast of temperamental and physical comedy by Hernández and Charli put this across well.
It Girl Thanksgiving
Bowen Yang played Marc Jacobs and Chloe Fineman played Julia Fox (who was actually present in the studio), hosting a celebrity-filled It Girl gathering. We encountered impressions of Naomi Campbell, Rachel Sennott, Posh Spice, the Olsen twins, La Roach, and, most notably, Heidi Gardner's Cher. A silly thing, the cast clearly enjoyed themselves in this over-the-top sketch.
Shrek the Musical
Friends who just attended a performance of Shrek the Musical were waiting outside a theatre for their friend, Leilani, played by Charli, who had been missing for 15 minutes. When she appeared, her face was covered in green paint, which led to a revelation that more than one of them had made out with Shrek. Not too shabby.
Cut for Time — please don't destroy: mean cute