Larry David vs. Elmo, how many guys you know, “What if AI could do-“ No, SNL might be a bad show, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

February 2

tmi doesn’t exist with me please tell me more
— taylor 🧚‍♀️ (@tieyoo) February 3, 2024

cry me a river https://t.co/66Yd9pEEo9
— HELLOTEFI 🐇 (@hellotefi) February 2, 2024

pic.twitter.com/d18Qp5ia0w
— ⚢ (@sapphiscs) February 2, 2024

i love how insane everyone is becoming https://t.co/WD0W2ymyDC
— beer person (@CantEverDie) February 2, 2024

This is what human evolution is up against.
😭😭😭😭🙄 pic.twitter.com/9x20mhFN8b
— 🍒ⓁⒶⓃⒺ🍒 (@lanechanged) February 2, 2024

Did a wolf write this https://t.co/6JVdcPmhSq
— Erica Buist (@ericabuist) February 2, 2024

I mean this with the utmost disrespect in my heart but if you’re using AI to do creative writing to make it “easier” why are you doing creative writing
— Christina Li (@CLiwrites) February 2, 2024

this got me crying so bad i'm sorry https://t.co/ahRJlSFFGd
— zae (@itszaeok) February 2, 2024

when i’m telling my friend the tea and the “tea” walks by pic.twitter.com/WeMoJSFh8Q
— ًً (@girlsonfillm) February 2, 2024

Larry David wins

pic.twitter.com/aJbujo3IdO
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) February 2, 2024

I’m so happy there are people legitimately angry about this. We’re so lucky to have a Curb plot play out in real life. https://t.co/ZbjkKWlhna
— Graham (@GrahamC47) February 3, 2024

This angle is insane pic.twitter.com/bFgs2VevPD
— The Jay Agenda (@JayJurden) February 2, 2024

ty cobb (.366)- “legend” “best to ever do it” “🐐🐐🐐”

punxsutawney phil (.390)- “washed” “he sucks” “let’s kill him with rocks” https://t.co/qlQ5yhnneX
— kelbin (@pissboymcgee) February 2, 2024

Aliens (completely bewildered) so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes
— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) February 2, 2024

everyone is hating on groundhog day but me personally i think we should have MORE silly holidays. a cat that determines the economy. a panda that determines how good of a year it will be. a duck that tells us when fall is coming. more silly holidays in 2024
— molly ⸆⸉ 💌 (@rwylmolly) February 2, 2024

February 3

Getting older is all about knowing a guy. A tax guy, a car guy, a plumbing guy, I don’t measure wealth in terms of money, but by how many guys you know
— Brock (@brockomole) February 3, 2024

“Try our new AI assis-“ No.
“Why not let AI help with-” No.
“Subscribe for our premium AI writ-“ No.
“We added AI to our chee-“ No.
“What if AI could do-“ No.
“Search now with AI and-” No.
“Ever wondered if you and AI could fu-“ No.
— Robo🧁🍩 (@robodessert) February 4, 2024

[15 minutes later]
"ma'am, we regret to inform you that your son is the deadest that anyone has ever been" https://t.co/9K20FRHmTj
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) February 3, 2024

My printer is threatening me pic.twitter.com/FidSUot16L
— Omnipotence (@omnipotnce) February 3, 2024

i am going to scream it until y'all listen. what we know as gamer chairs are literally car seats. a company was trying to sell off a surplus, called them 'gamer chairs', and now we're here. Buy office chairs, unless you're building a sim racer rig. these are not ergonomic! https://t.co/anzpDJYkSN
— Gaming Chair Truther (@SamGreszes) February 3, 2024

do football players have to wear helmets to stop them from kissing each other on the lips
— ethan (@ethanjuiced) February 3, 2024

https://t.co/WNBSk6CcS8 pic.twitter.com/aMPkwj7ilc
— ceeks (@70Ceeks) February 3, 2024

I love how clear it is that they wrote this for Jack Black, he wasn’t available, and PSH was just like “ok, I’ll just give one of the five best Jack Black performances instead” https://t.co/S2FxLEKusJ
— Jacob deNobel (@Jacob_deNobel) February 4, 2024

https://t.co/1LC0JW4CHQ pic.twitter.com/HC4Z33UQFi
— Mitch🦦 (@mitchpeotter) February 3, 2024

41 kids

My guy couldn’t pull out of a driveway. God rest his soul. https://t.co/qHEvJWtWHL
— KIΠG (@RNB215) February 3, 2024

white bisexual woman: this parking lot is so lynchian lol

me who doesn’t know what that means, desperately trying to hit: definitely getting that vibe too. racism must end
— kc (@powcampsurvivor) February 3, 2024

The best way to deal with a racist is shun them from society, not reward them with network TV https://t.co/VmeISvqdW6
— Imraan Siddiqi (@imraansiddiqi) February 4, 2024

Dave Chappelle one week, Shane Gillis the next, it’s like they want Bowen Yang to quit https://t.co/HRA3vk7LvD
— LoLo Vonz (@LoLoVonz) February 4, 2024

He’s such a virgin that he doesn’t know what women look like pic.twitter.com/LARSdtDmac
— evan (@esjesjesj) February 3, 2024

Baby Has Sinking Feeling He Left Home Without Oversize Multicolor Plastic Keys https://t.co/0BVP1Nqk5p
— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 3, 2024

February 4

that little scroll thingy that you use to select your birth year is getting kinda far
— yash (@dildoswagginzs) February 4, 2024

Showing the kids Honey I Shrunk the Kids and having to explain which inventions are zany Rick Moranis originals (shrink ray) and which were normal household objects (phone attached to the wall).
— Stephanie Insley Hershinow (@S_Insley_H) February 4, 2024

Alberta Premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name https://t.co/3qQsqm2MC0
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) February 4, 2024

All these are pictures of capitalist countries https://t.co/2Gt2PSTZaC
— inhumans of capitalism (@Inhumansoflate1) February 4, 2024

We are seeing levels of dork behavior previously only theorized https://t.co/tv3bNMnPYZ
— Peter Raleigh (@PetreRaleigh) February 5, 2024

“Go fuck your self”: Lazy, derivative, predictable, boring

“I hope SNL turns one of your viral tweets into a full blown sketch in 2 weeks”: Original, effective, terrifying, could actually happen https://t.co/v713pHtwIu
— (Not) YoutubeKids (@RealYouTubeKids) February 4, 2024

SNL always does this thing where they pretend to make fun of conservatives by inviting them onto the show to launder their racism through comedy sketches without ever actually being shamed or held accountable https://t.co/NuTyHtegMR
— matt (@mattxiv) February 4, 2024

After Shane Gillis was fired from SNL, he promised his audience that if he ever hosted, he would commit suicide during his monologue. https://t.co/mHWV3ODug8 pic.twitter.com/HGr9ZPoOF7
— Hispanic Shaun King (@okimstillhungry) February 4, 2024

Starting to think Saturday Night Live might be bad pic.twitter.com/rjoEAMYCbD
— alfredosolisfuentes 🇲🇽 (@AlfredoFilmGeek) February 4, 2024

pic.twitter.com/rmdpWry9gr
— inhumans of capitalism (@Inhumansoflate1) February 5, 2024

shitty diss record, your opp going #1, and you losin a grammy all in one week. pic.twitter.com/t1cVfRwGSR
— kimberly. (@problemsthots) February 4, 2024

“Even by your own metrics” is a read. https://t.co/Va0qlEkr47
— dime. (@therealdiamonde) February 5, 2024

Hip Hop turned 50 and none of it’s categories aired on the televised #GRAMMYs https://t.co/ST2R30mL6f
— Whitney Alese (@TheReclaimed) February 5, 2024

Beyoncé during Jay-Z’s speech #Grammys pic.twitter.com/uzhcK3lJ85
— Born Free B (@ChurchGworl) February 5, 2024

having travis scott perform and then right after giving a speech about deaths at music events and leaving out astrofest is insane
— gwen ミ☆ (@goIdenightmare) February 5, 2024

Her dads genes didn’t even try omg https://t.co/TNKHvCeGqs
— lex in tx (@alexissTyler) February 5, 2024

“YOU GET A FAST CAR. AND YOU GET A FAST CAR” #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/mIrzRqjaMp
— Eoin Wenger (@eoinwenger) February 5, 2024

U2 hasn’t left the sphere in 4 months. they’ve been inside all this time. phantom of the operaing it up in there. surviving off the nachos people drop on the ground
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 5, 2024

It’s 1989 and The Grammys didn’t televise any Rap Grammy Award categories.

It’s 2024 and The Grammys didn’t televise any Rap Grammy Award categories. pic.twitter.com/lFgfmH64Qg
— Jeff J. (@JeffJSays) February 5, 2024

sza had the most insane run w this album it got the hits it got the numbers it got everything and they gave it to this corny ass woman talking about karma is her friend pic.twitter.com/0b7nx9QCSJ
— 😵‍💫 (@winegingerale) February 5, 2024

One of the biggest gaslights of pop culture history is acting like #that girl is the best, most talented pop star to ever live. In the past or current day
— Ms. Andry Noir, PhD (@keatingssixth) February 5, 2024

celine coming out of hiding, fighting a terrible disease, to give the honor of the night. and for her to not even acknowledge her. so tacky. https://t.co/GrTjam6IC8
— buxom and bald (@BitchassChicken) February 5, 2024

Celine Dion https://t.co/zSauEYjRZh
— queen priyanka (@thequeenpri) February 5, 2024

Taylor got the navy seals of PR https://t.co/edrDsqT9V7
— Tyler 🌮 (@tytacobell) February 5, 2024

Y’all tryna “even if you don’t like her you gotta admit” and no the hell I don’t.
— ♊︎ (@haworthes) February 4, 2024

look at my current state of music journalism dawg https://t.co/XZAA8FL1Ga
— carl marks (@lethalrejection) February 5, 2024

The Tortured Poets Department https://t.co/9brLyIc6J4
— Eric Harvey (@ericdharvey) February 5, 2024

rip edgar allan poe you would’ve loved the tortured poets department
— iya ★ (@hotmessjunk) February 5, 2024

“I’m here to see about these poets. See who’s torturing ‘em.” pic.twitter.com/OMxFbEaPvp
— Barry Hertz (@HertzBarry) February 5, 2024

February 5

Is she launching a private-equity firm https://t.co/DeG51M9dkQ
— Chris Stanton (@chrisstanton27) February 5, 2024

my brain since the announcement: the dead poet department. the tortured poet society. the dead tortured poet. the tortured poet department of society? the tortured dead poet of society. the society of dead poets. the tortured poet department?
— tj 🪴 (@letterstofires) February 5, 2024

A song about generational poverty is resonating more than ever I wonder why https://t.co/IS13QCYRWF
— K ☭ (@IbaraEleven) February 5, 2024

This fool had the nerve to say that Tracy Chapman netted a half million dollars off the back of Luke combs's success when there would be no success if Tracy Chapman had not written the goddamn song in the first goddamn place. https://t.co/Rvx81Wq6rc
— Imani Gandy (Orca’s Version) ⚓️ (@AngryBlackLady) February 6, 2024

finding out today that a truly alarming number of you think that Fast Car is a love song
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) February 5, 2024

Ugh, my Monday schedule is JAM PACKED pic.twitter.com/p8n0efuFOS
— Brooke Preston (@bigu) February 5, 2024

Law is only retired if he don’t like you lol. https://t.co/qQ1zhg7mtD
— To Pimp a Hell Butterfly (@BlckBolex) February 5, 2024

no I’m fucking cackling 😭 https://t.co/FfrGA61eeJ pic.twitter.com/QlMN746k85
— van cartier (@christopherXCI_) February 6, 2024

That was HIS moment. Because he was accepting HIS award…. How you lot are making his allotted time about that lady is beyond me. https://t.co/gTHKIZ6G4a
— red da redz (@shes_rADIAnt) February 5, 2024

I have not heard Boygenius’ music and cannot comment on it, but their public persona makes me think they’d have appeared on not one, but several episodes of Scooby-Doo if they’d been around in 1976
— AK Lingus (@aklingus) February 6, 2024

imagine telling Taylor Swift, the woman who wrote Red about a 3 month relationship, to shut up about a 6 year relationship...
— maddie 🪩 (@HolySwiftly) February 6, 2024

“so do lesbians actually…?” pic.twitter.com/s6VC2nApk6
— laurie 🦷🪩 saw jbesus. (@songinlauriE) February 6, 2024

btw if there was a photo of me out there that looked like this you’d never be able to tell me shit again. my head would be so big I wouldn’t fit thru the door https://t.co/uVdoFXmFS0
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 5, 2024

Whenever I have imposter syndrome I simply think of Taylor Swift’s stylist and it serves as a comforting reminder that sometimes you actually don’t have to be good at your job
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) February 6, 2024

Just heard back from a job I applied to, letting me know that the job "does not come with a traditional salary," instead, I need to "create a team of partners who are willing to support me financially as the source of funding" 🤯 What kind of new dystopian BS is this now?? 😭
— Dr. Tine Rassalle (@Tine_Rass) February 5, 2024

No matter how bad a day I’m having at work at least there’s no point during which I have to run 1 mile for a grade right after eating then change back into my clothes and resume work.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) February 5, 2024

imagine being so fucking stupid the Q-Shaman is correcting you pic.twitter.com/DpTkH2sJfB
— evan (@esjesjesj) February 6, 2024

My bf is hunting (on a work call) while I’m gathering (saving Instagram reels to show him when it’s over)
— eliza (@elizamclamb) February 6, 2024

Southwest Airlines is flaunting new razor-thin seats, so now is a great time to remind you that the reason we'll never gave a high speed rail system in America is because Southwest has tirelessly lobbied the government to keep it from happening. pic.twitter.com/kooG4PtzII
— Adam Ellis (@adamtotscomix) February 5, 2024

https://t.co/SjN6SPnoYm pic.twitter.com/vCs0qNTcXW
— tortured posts department (@VernorsHerzog) February 6, 2024

Fuck it. I believe him. Hes 81 and completely gone. Soul got one foot in this world and one foot in the afterlife. Hes seeing the dead and they’re happy to see him. They want him to let go but he has a pop tart in the toaster he’s excited to eat. https://t.co/tDSSeFad6I
— jake (@jakebrodes) February 6, 2024

chief of staff: Mr. President, very sad news. King Charles has cancer.

joe biden [ munching block of Kerrygold butter ]: hot damn. we do that?
— Armand Domalewski (@ArmandDoma) February 5, 2024

This is the only correct way to talk about this phenomenally shitty unforced error. pic.twitter.com/m9rnWjjEQI
— holly 🦝 (@girlziplocked) February 6, 2024

Democrats every time they try to make a deal with Republicans https://t.co/nQQVLiIN7b pic.twitter.com/UAZXAqNn7F
— Trap Queen Enthusiast (@marionumber4) February 6, 2024

February 6

Didn't know this https://t.co/ZRQcIWrjWv
— Super Hams (@TheRstott) February 6, 2024

this is crazy😭 pic.twitter.com/ipIQusZav7
— ʀʏᴀ (@Genesxi) February 6, 2024

Absolutely incredible series of words https://t.co/ofxPtzu5os
— Discount🍉Emma🍉Stone (@Buffalojilll) February 6, 2024

made a small mistake at work pic.twitter.com/8eXygfJITU
— nick (@NickKvcc) February 6, 2024

how do I get one of those jobs where you get paid $100,000 to attend zoom meetings on a laptop for 3 working hours per week
— bobby wasabi (@bobbyteriyaki) February 6, 2024

Oh so you thumbs upped my text instead of hearting it, quick question why do u fucking hate me?
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) February 7, 2024

you could write a case study about how social media and exposure to rightwing rhetoric turns peoples minds into complete mush based on elon alone pic.twitter.com/RNvpGcVDMI
— beer person (@CantEverDie) February 6, 2024

1) Republicans strategically scheduled a vote while a Democrat was undergoing surgery so he’d be absent

2) Democrat rushes from the hospital to go vote, causing Republicans to fail

3) Greene says there was a conspiracy by Democrats “hiding” members to “throw us off” https://t.co/vxuECToh5U
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) February 7, 2024

the idea of mt rushmore is so fucking crazy like ... truly only a colonizer could be so Deranged as to come up w the idea to steal someone's land and then CARVE WHITE MEN'S FACES INTO THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN https://t.co/L26od1ctPC
— azrael 🍉 (@wlwquinz) February 7, 2024

Classic “I ate part of this guy” photo https://t.co/6TOpvAtCzy
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) February 7, 2024

just a couple guys who couldn’t possibly have done it alone https://t.co/fUcqRUZmel
— george w kush (@digitalsoyboy) February 6, 2024

got kind of choked up telling my boyfriend that i think knew each other in a past life because he is too familiar and our love is too real for this to be our first lifetime together and he goes yeah that makes sense.. Or like maybe we played on a basketball team together
— Grace (@gracecamille_) February 7, 2024

when a woman stays up past 2am its because she has a beautiful spirit that even the worst of 9-5 capitalism can't tie down. when a man stays up past 2am it is because he's a pervert
— bethany (@kimwexlcrs) February 7, 2024

Woman with freezer full of overripe bananas dies never having made banana breadhttps://t.co/MzxTaPCIGw
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) February 6, 2024

As a Drake hater, I’m glad the boy got a big wiener bc it’s just proves my point even further. You’re rich, you’re famous, you’re light skin, you’re Jewish & you packing AND STILL!! No woman wants to stay with him bc deep down, he’s just a loser.
— Tori Nicks 2.0 (@MajestyRia) February 6, 2024

I once read about an 800 year old church in Norway that was built entirely of wood without using a single nail and it was celebrated as a masterpiece of ingenuity and craftsmanship, but you make one Boeing 737 Max that way and everyone loses their shit
— emily (@emnode) February 7, 2024

Kris Kristofferson dragging Toby Keith to his face for being an ignorant chickenhawk, and following it up with an all-time zinger, sums up both men better than anything one could write about them. https://t.co/nPtdty99Ec
— stuart hall & oates (@riseandgrindcor) February 6, 2024

In honor of Black History month, Toby Keith has died.
— thekeithiest 🏳️‍🌈🎹 (@TheKeithiest) February 6, 2024

I will always remember Toby Keith for all of his hit songs, like:
I fucking hate Moslems
Americans are the only people who matter
I have a nice hat, also fuck Mexicans
And who can forget, the classic,
I drink from a red cup and black people are Ruining America.
— Joshua Keller (@JoshuaJKeller) February 6, 2024

My thoughts are with Chief Keef, on the passing of his father, Toby.
— Norm Charlatan (@normcharlatan) February 6, 2024

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any funnier https://t.co/pj0GFA290t pic.twitter.com/PMGHaL1iWD
— joe bro (@jbromovies) February 6, 2024

*Werner Herzog, grimly taking off his headphones* You should never listen to this. You should not keep it. You should destroy it. https://t.co/eIvP0QalSz
— khanate (@polishXcellence) February 6, 2024

Somehow haven’t seen this one https://t.co/OoeD3PWhpb pic.twitter.com/wbmORNh5RA
— Webster (@WallyEatsCats) February 6, 2024

guys, “Fast Car” is about a woman trapped in a poverty cycle and the cyclical melody exists as a musical device to represent that

hope this helps
— Bev Gooden (@bevtgooden) February 7, 2024

which of these things constitute harassment:
*a college student tracking private flights of powerful people using public FAA data
*a billionaire threatening legal action over it https://t.co/uvdEMsuF8E
— Natalie Shure (@nataliesurely) February 6, 2024

“Ethical billionaire” sues man for exposing her reliance on environment-wrecking private jets. https://t.co/5lMIGwkdru
— Eva 🏳️‍⚧️ ☭ (@based_eva) February 7, 2024

February 7

one day you will be dead and you won’t be able to play on your phone so you should spend as much time on it as possible while you can
— big boy online (@idonotbleed) February 7, 2024

The opening to this email is so hysterical to me I’m almost open to being swindled pic.twitter.com/A1KVGnlVzg
— Emily Austin (@eraustinauthor) February 8, 2024

DUDE https://t.co/hc52t3SKbF pic.twitter.com/rkq2ttbJOt
— ANGEL (@schizopaws) February 8, 2024

My dad was more of a Tracy Chapman guy https://t.co/TsyNlPR6zJ pic.twitter.com/xWxyAFsWvw
— Agita “karstic springs enthusiast” Christie (@pagan_hoetry) February 8, 2024

My boss accidentally muted himself on this zoom meeting 20 minutes ago and none of us have told him
— Marshall Scott (@Marshall__Scott) February 7, 2024

Sent a joke to my work crush over Teams and I heard her audibly laugh from her desk. This is what cocaine feels like.
— W.E.B. DaBoi (@Tyre_94) February 7, 2024

Don’t be a loser and diddle on your laptop at home. Come diddle on your laptop on this fast paced energetic environment pic.twitter.com/AjkxnlHWHx
— Reed (@TheSotaSwede) February 7, 2024

DELETE https://t.co/w8kVrt4huf pic.twitter.com/Kc2QoWCTDT
— Timsley Mortimer (@fkatims) February 7, 2024

card declined at subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me
— ✦ eve ✦ (@impossiblyeve) February 7, 2024

i'm not a "hater" i'm a freelance cultural critic
— carl marks (@lethalrejection) February 7, 2024

https://t.co/yNcycxxItY pic.twitter.com/NLH8LpjZ3p
— unregistered hyperkate 2 (@kathrwn) February 7, 2024

Shes gonna be so mad you said this dawg, good luck. https://t.co/ixwbq0peYo
— Liz Harvey (@_lizharvey) February 7, 2024

I was suspended on my first day of kindergarten for pulling the fire alarm.

Why did I pull the fire alarm?

Because I was learning how to read, and noticed that the fire alarm said “pull down.”

90 days. Suspended for 90 days. Mom was interviewed for local news and everything. https://t.co/feXhc6nYW5
— Feral Spamlet, Thundering Dumbass (@feralspamlet) February 7, 2024

The school bus?! This picture hard af pic.twitter.com/auqxDuuimq
— Siren (@8thhousesiren) February 7, 2024

taylor swift going for groceries https://t.co/N0zNviuhMl
— leon (@skyferrori) February 7, 2024

back in my day we had catagory 1 thru 5 and we were happy. there were no problems. now due to wokeism they’re adding a fake catagory 6. what’s happening to society pic.twitter.com/BchXcnPB8D
— beer person (@CantEverDie) February 7, 2024

Taylor Swift going to get some milk from the market around the corner pic.twitter.com/SneA7Z6Xxl
— joe bro (@jbromovies) February 8, 2024

taylor swift every time she leaves the house: https://t.co/IuZ7PNM5K6
— Al Shipley (@alshipley) February 7, 2024

holy shit. imagine saying condoms shouldnt be part of HIV/AIDS advocacy because “people don’t like condoms” https://t.co/TZ6Nfpurbv
— collagen machine broke (@chronicallybeee) February 7, 2024

Honestly it is kind of insane how Marvel created an eating disorder industrial complex for men. https://t.co/m6DlwLPvOM
— Henny Riefenstahl🇵🇸 (@RaceplayShawty) February 7, 2024

a dying king saying he’s “a great believer in potions” might be the best argument against the monarchy yet https://t.co/5XLVoYeaTG
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) February 7, 2024

Not to get political but it is hilarious the Green Bay Packers have an age restriction for their CEO but we have two 95 year old goblins running for president https://t.co/tWeYPEGDqL
— CEO Eric Nathan (CEO Nate) (@BarstoolNate) February 7, 2024

If not free healthcare, maybe ad-supported healthcare. Like my doctor can stop in the middle of examining me and sing the Liberty Mutual jingle
— A random Brandon (@brandomonium) February 7, 2024

It m rules that her entire Madame Web press tour has been “the movie we made sucks and this industry is dying” https://t.co/ikGwhH6Hu7
— Brandon Streussnig (@BrndnStrssng) February 7, 2024

Imagine peeing in the Beethoven’s 5th urinals pic.twitter.com/UjBP0x76FO
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) February 7, 2024

I’ve only got two, maybe three good Motown puns left in me. Four Tops.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) February 7, 2024

February 8

rate my vinyl storage setup https://t.co/O38xjzj2so pic.twitter.com/q7toufl4iW
— count dykecula 🦇 (@gothesbian) February 8, 2024

This to me is a perfect example of an extremely online person trying to explain some dumb internet thing to an extremely not online person. pic.twitter.com/0tv9vpXytN
— Steven Hyden (@Steven_Hyden) February 8, 2024

he should be drinking a cokey cola https://t.co/Kry7J1Ro9B
— campbell g (@rodeoman) February 8, 2024

Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let's Talk Dayhttps://t.co/hMmZYq2RvE pic.twitter.com/Qf5oBj4Fr7
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) February 8, 2024

Hey sorry if I acted weird the other day my entire wellbeing is dependent on the tone of ur voice when u speak to me
— ash (@ANGELBABYBITTY) February 8, 2024

i love when a crush wears off like yes i am free
— caroline (@thecliquelover) February 8, 2024

you guys can all calm down now. he signed ammunition that kills a DIFFERENT group of people https://t.co/HRS4s68GV6
— emily coolboobs 🍉 (@cooIboobs) February 8, 2024

ironically this is just mask off fascism https://t.co/EoU9gvsdDQ
— hotdog embargo (@notCursedE) February 8, 2024

*screams from the rooftops* YESSSS. got dammit. not only have disability advocates been saying this but so have people who are studying abolition and criminalization. the silence from government entities on masking is very intentional. for the love of GOD 😭. wear. a. mask. https://t.co/vdLJRD2Y4a
— jo. (@grandetann) February 8, 2024

Me forgetting where I put my keys is not the same as the President of the United States looking directly into a camera and saying he had a conversation last week with a foreign diplomat who died twelve years ago. https://t.co/xD1CrZlVtg
— Lee 🍉 Carter (no relation) (@carterforva) February 8, 2024

every once in a while I submit fake stuff to celeb gossip sites and it's honestly so rewarding when one of them gets published pic.twitter.com/S5ImC5M3W2
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) February 9, 2024

Paying debt off and saving all year. Please don’t ask me to come outside because I will say yes and forget everything I just said at the beginning of this tweet.
— Parí (@parislraymond) February 8, 2024

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: February 9, 2024

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