Absolutely no notes, Don and Tucker in the same boat, Jimmy Buckets gloats, Barbie and Oppenheimer warrant the same quote, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

April 21

the incels were at war this day https://t.co/knWb8bQ5eX pic.twitter.com/x1BVW2gvF8
— ˗ˏˋ haila ˎˊ˗ (@heavensclouud) April 22, 2023

Curry look like a totalitarian dictator here lmao https://t.co/6b5NKV324V
— Bun (@bunrxm) April 21, 2023

I HAVE GOT TO WATCH THIS OMG ?! pic.twitter.com/HaQ5zsBzX6
— ؘphilomena cunk (@fiImverse) April 21, 2023

pat pat pic.twitter.com/xBrU5nWYhy
— Alison Burke (@TiredActor) April 22, 2023

imagine ur at karaoke and someone goes up to sing prince and it's david fucking byrne pic.twitter.com/5dxSZEmZ8m
— sippin on that (@vivafalastin) April 22, 2023

This might be the funniest news segment I've ever seen. Detroit don't give a fuck 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/IiuTjWPF2l
— △⃒⃘⚜️ (@imsoshive_) April 22, 2023

Disney vibes.. 😊 pic.twitter.com/OmZhbNzlUR
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) April 21, 2023

i am confused by 'verified' chumps being all "it's the cost of a coffee" yeah but if i buy a coffee i get a coffee. i get to have the coffee
— Shaun (@shaun_vids) April 21, 2023

From a friend still employed at Twitter. Things are a little hectic! pic.twitter.com/8V6HaVEZpO
— jordan (@jdan) April 21, 2023

you've got to fuck up so bad to not get $8 out of me. i'm stupid, i'll spend $8 on anything
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) April 22, 2023

believe it or not george isn't at home https://t.co/7M6HdDEyJi pic.twitter.com/Wr95JmvvQ3
— laura 🦠 (@ecto_fun) April 21, 2023

Dril is a modern-day Sisyphus and I can't express how much I love him https://t.co/2gl0rCzPlA pic.twitter.com/3VVIhOJIhX
— 𝕊𝕌ℙ𝔼ℝ𝔾𝕃𝔸𝕊𝕊 (@dazey_ghost) April 21, 2023

"I paid for free speech" is simply an incredible line. I am in awe. https://t.co/h51ubsgNBO
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) April 22, 2023

The whole point of these losers wanting verification was so they could be confused with meaningful people (which is funny because I was verified and I don't matter at all) but the way Musk did it means they still end up looking like losers and they're losing their minds pic.twitter.com/rh2Qn4w8Y3
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 21, 2023

April 22

Jimmy Fallon realizing he missed his shot with Nicole Kidman pic.twitter.com/wQCVDxRa0c https://t.co/Xa2kQoZzOm
— Zoë Rose Bryant (@ZoeRoseBryant) April 22, 2023

novels are so great. novels are like "i made up a little weirdo. oh no, now he's in trouble!"
— Gabrielle Moss (@Gaby_Moss) April 22, 2023

kendall roy x hannah montana nobody's perfect tiktok is what all of human history has been working toward pic.twitter.com/xEwljNmKdn
— meg succession text posts (@successtextpost) April 23, 2023

Dame Edna knew instinctively what a shameless c*** Boris Johnson is.

RIP Barry Humphries pic.twitter.com/xCasTTuA33
— Marie-Ann Detests Tories 🇺🇦 🇪🇺 🇬🇧 (@MarieAnnUK) April 22, 2023

thinking about the molding in my old apartment building's mail room pic.twitter.com/MgyYanmfiQ
— Andrew (@Dub__A) April 22, 2023

Ok this is the funniest community notes thing I've ever seen pic.twitter.com/BdEUNzOVVG
— Merrick 🦂 Untamed Pussy (@punishedmother) April 23, 2023

this is all gonna end with a judge somehow awarding ownership of twitter to dril
— andy™ (@andylevy) April 23, 2023

Like this is insane pic.twitter.com/LRL3BZqi6K
— Jason Goldman (@goldman) April 22, 2023

dril ending up as elon musk's nemesis is so fucking amazing holy shit. the ten awful years i've spent on here have paid off, i can't believe this is a real thing that's happening
— elon mustard (@nice_mustard) April 22, 2023

"I paid for a blue checkmark and I'm genuinely angry that the celebs won't, because this is a moral failing on their part" is an unprecedented new frontier in being mad online. It's like we've discovered dark matter.
— Sean T. Collins (@theseantcollins) April 22, 2023

so they gave dril the checkmark, but the checkmark goes away if you change your name, so dril just changed his name, but they gave him the checkmark again, so he changed his name again... this is the most looney tunes ass fight ive ever seen between a billionaire and a shitposter
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) April 22, 2023

It's funny when twitter blue guys are like "have fun with your echo chamber" like it's a bad thing it's like yes I want to see posts from people who understand jokes and are capable of abstract thought that's why I'm blocking you
— eve6 (@Eve6) April 23, 2023

i can't explain it but elon musk vs dril is the logical endgame of twitter.
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) April 22, 2023

You can tell Twitter Blue is a good product because the only two ways to get it is to pay for it or make the owner of Twitter so mad he buys it for you to punish you
— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) April 22, 2023

What other kind of product is so *embarrassing* that people feel compelled to explain it? No, no I didn't really buy this thing. Honestly I didn't.

Twitter Blue will be a marketing case study for years to come pic.twitter.com/SN2YLRlvoa
— Belinda Barnet (@manjusrii) April 23, 2023

Twitter Blue increases your engagement by causing the entire website to mock you in your replies
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) April 22, 2023

April 23

If you're a fan of Morgan Wallen after everything he's done, you kind of deserve this. I've no sympathy for that stadium. https://t.co/eoh6bxyFOO
— Jason Rector (@jasonrector) April 24, 2023

Yep. pic.twitter.com/RgvLYgGLxm
— 🟦 Tales & Typos 🟧 (@kathrynresister) April 23, 2023

larry, i'm on ducktales https://t.co/HjTcVfiMF2 pic.twitter.com/A3NIw0GFSQ
— the ntiri of everything (@NtiAning) April 24, 2023

Every scene of SUCCESSION:

Kendall: What's the play, the vibe? Marco Polo titfucking us around the Cape of Good Hope?

Shiv: I mean…sure, if your nose is sewn onto the back of your ballsack(scolding look)

Roman: (raises eyebrows)Looks like we're takin a looong whiff of taint
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@wapplehouse) April 24, 2023

Succession: "187 per share. 50/50 cash stock."

Me, not knowing what that means: "Holy fucking shit"
— richie owens (@iamRichieOwens) April 24, 2023

shiv's baby when that whiskey and cocaine enters their system pic.twitter.com/x4nfSIScKY
— Claudia (@thewaitisogre) April 24, 2023

She is stealing catalytic converters https://t.co/YxS0lBVhkX
— David Watt (@davewattrules) April 23, 2023

Y'all wanna see a dead body? pic.twitter.com/nPXuaNiZKW
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) April 23, 2023

Back-to-back. Uncanny. https://t.co/0X0y55bggk pic.twitter.com/2Vs1dq37tD
— David Doel (@daviddoel) April 23, 2023

yeah and whose fault is that https://t.co/bpAK5utSQj
— Josiah🥑☀️ (@bed_jartlet98) April 24, 2023

Pusha T: Eatin princess pussy, call that taco belle
Have her screamin' "Yo Quiero!" in a fine hotel
Got your bitch in heaven, I'm the king of hell
Tell her I'm runnin out for breakfast, but it's a fond farewell

Heeeeuuuggghh

JAY-Z (completely off beat): Pancakes for every meal!
— Jesse (@MuskTillDawn) April 23, 2023

At press conference on this date April 23 in 2020, Trump suggested hitting the body with powerful light or injecting the body with disinfectant may be effective treatments for COVID-19. pic.twitter.com/zwp3KJrO7V
— Dr. Jeffrey Guterman (@JeffreyGuterman) April 23, 2023

getting famous people to make unprompted public statements that they would never pay for your product has got to be in the business school hall of fame
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 23, 2023

This is how Twitter feels right now pic.twitter.com/bNoyVVE65z
— Lauren McKenzie (@TheMcKenziest) April 23, 2023

April 24

pic.twitter.com/i2foqfATPz
— very tall bart (@TallBart) April 24, 2023

Every viral tweet now has like 9 followups from the author like:

My husband got me flowers!

I wanted to clarify my husband and I do equal housework

I did not know tulip farms were so bad for the environment, sorry

I apologize that this was insensitive to people with allergies
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 24, 2023

The best 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/EYqmqmbcxe
— The Best (@Figensport) April 24, 2023

(guy with no media literacy watching LOST) it's disgusting how the writers are endorsing being lost on a scary island. this is irresponsible
— zach silberberg (@zachsilberberg) April 24, 2023

I forgot to pick up a 10mg gummy I dropped on the ground in my backyard last night and this morning it was covered in ants and I just can't even imagine the day those little guys are about to have
— Asia (@AsiaDNYC) April 24, 2023

WHO WROTE AND APPROVED THIS SUBJECT LINE AT @POLITICO 😂 pic.twitter.com/zL8ZHnToGH
— Juan Escalante (@JuanSaaa) April 24, 2023

Only feels fitting to bring back Nick Mullen's Tucker Carlson impression in light of this news https://t.co/RwpBfzg8p8 pic.twitter.com/rcciBpTwSR
— 0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ 🥷 (@021odeezy) April 24, 2023

Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson meeting on the unemployment line on the same day: pic.twitter.com/AZxDS6Uspj
— Leon Langford (@MasonLLL) April 24, 2023

It's giving: https://t.co/k148dvk4l6 pic.twitter.com/FZg9k5IAAa
— Eric Haywood (@EricHaywood) April 24, 2023

Tucker Carlson's exit interview pic.twitter.com/9u50vfynQf
— Elijah Cone (@ElijahCone) April 24, 2023

They dropped that Tucker Carlson/Don Lemon news to distract yall from the real truth, Bed Bath & Beyond coupons expire Wednesday. Stay Woke. pic.twitter.com/AF1vQsN0I2
— Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi (@roywoodjr) April 24, 2023

Ja Morant don't got a single layup where he needs to be doing this pic.twitter.com/E5H8SykTRp
— َ (@FeelLikeDrew) April 25, 2023

Adam Silver's heart needs to be defibrillatedhttps://t.co/pU9Em4dJRC pic.twitter.com/yByHXjLHze
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) April 25, 2023

Ja Morant driving the lane pic.twitter.com/bMk0ExIqNB
— Jasmine (@JasmineLWatkins) April 25, 2023

ja morant twice a game pic.twitter.com/wmwEvyPn7n
— buc nasty (@hateroty) April 25, 2023

every ja morant drive pic.twitter.com/4Y4hLRHjX1
— C.J. Toledano 💩 (@CJToledano) April 25, 2023

April 25

kind of obsessed with whatever he has going on pic.twitter.com/e2J9bMMguu
— h (@VILL4NEVE) April 25, 2023

Happy Al Pacino Day pic.twitter.com/amgGYdd2Mm
— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) April 26, 2023

it's amazing to get laid once and then announce your departure from the community like you completed a heroes journey https://t.co/u6LzoISS2d
— pudding person (@JUNlPER) April 25, 2023

twitter blue is like paying to lower the basketball hoop and forcing everyone to watch you still miss
— jo (@whatsJo) April 26, 2023

I actually feel bad for kids who grow up having access to unlimited knowledge. It used to be so easy to lie. When I was a kid someone told me they went to the same synagogue as Sonic the Hedgehog, and honestly I didn't have enough information to dispute that.
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) April 25, 2023

This is good. I'm sick of these booksmart cops with their college sweaters and thought experiments. https://t.co/8qAnWa7uAk
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) April 25, 2023

Joe Biden is running for re-election. Here's why that's bad news for Joe Biden.
— New York Times Pitchbot (@DougJBalloon) April 25, 2023

Biden's America pic.twitter.com/4i9nnz3rzW
— Cold Stone Steve Austin 🔆 (@turbosexaphonic) April 25, 2023

If Biden would campaign on "headlights are too fuckin bright now, man" he would win 40 states.
— Ed Burmila (@edburmila) April 26, 2023

no way bro this is the funniest possible answer https://t.co/U5UeFf2eLx
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) April 26, 2023

10/10, absolutely no notes pic.twitter.com/LktPkzVhLb
— Colin Dickey (@colindickey) April 25, 2023

April 26

this movie looks sick pic.twitter.com/FMXnPWBV0n
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) April 27, 2023

I love when live action remakes give the once adorable sidekick the look of a man that has watched the light fade from the eyes of dozens of his victims. https://t.co/tEZvIU2EFc
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 26, 2023

I still can't get over each main character getting their own emotional support woman of color https://t.co/jIlcvbMM1d
— B.A. Parker (@aparkusfarce) April 26, 2023

Every reply to this tweet https://t.co/3lLY4UPWTD pic.twitter.com/tPir3ckRSK
— Guy Freire (@guy_freire) April 26, 2023

me: I quit, here's my badge and gun

head lifeguard: your what
— Adam Cerious (@Browtweaten) April 26, 2023

The funniest detail about this guys assumed persona is moving to England and picking the name "Arthur Knight." It'd be like moving to America and choosing "George Washington President" or "John Wayne Cowboy" pic.twitter.com/pLqiHM6d7n
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@wapplehouse) April 26, 2023

Men what's stopping you from dressing like this pic.twitter.com/e9MqGfMG97
— Chris Locke (@chrislockeworld) April 26, 2023

i was NOT expecting this 😭 watch till the end pic.twitter.com/UzzpQ7fjgH
— 𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖆 𝖒𝖆𝖒𝖎 🔮💫 (@trvppedsxul) April 26, 2023

uh-oh pic.twitter.com/CSWJcnxBuK
— Dan Chaon (@Danchaon) April 26, 2023

Nice! pic.twitter.com/zTJxwY9QSl
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) April 26, 2023

April 27

Jerry Springer died today

Go pick a fight with somebody. Anybody. It's what he woulda wanted
— the Tool, man (@repeatxinfinite) April 27, 2023

Bluesky's content moderation settings are really comprehensive pic.twitter.com/1NbgTiR5oe
— Themperor Kennedy🐸🏳️‍🌈 (@kennedytcooper) April 27, 2023

Can't believe Elon didn't put a "please do not built a website to compete with the one I paid you double the value of with the proceeds of this sale" in the contract he signed with Jack
— Brizz-Chan (@billybrizzle420) April 27, 2023

sorry guys im leaving twitter. im going to post gleeps on frunkley.bunk with two hundred of the most 38 year old people this website ever churned out
— krysten rizzer (@bobo_circus) April 27, 2023

https://t.co/hjkClOgkhI pic.twitter.com/GEPc1nefFQ
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) April 27, 2023

Doing this down 6 late in the game and ending up winning is crazy https://t.co/NT5jGx4jrM
— Jason Maples (@JJMaples55_MST) April 27, 2023

Yes, People May Have Been Dying, But None Of Them Were Me. pic.twitter.com/P3wdeXESH1
— The Vertlartnic (@TheVertlartnic) April 27, 2023

greta gerwig should release the same statement about the inventor of barbie dolls https://t.co/8IUhT1EtMh
— laura 🦠 (@ecto_fun) April 27, 2023

for the first time ever I reviewed a wine in my back yard pic.twitter.com/xWQi5bzBWe
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) April 27, 2023

"Time for us to attack Disney where they're weakest: copyright and trademark" https://t.co/zUoRv2NzT5
— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) April 27, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: April 28, 2023

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