He's in his hammock, a penne purse dynamic, pelican diet havoc, completing a single task panic, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>July 30</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hey! i saw your joke tweet and immediately interpreted it as serious. do you mind if i get mad at you for my own misunderstanding? thanks!</p>
— joy con eater (@foconut_) <a href="https://twitter.com/foconut_/status/1421246345365622794?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 30, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">baby (sword for scale) <a href="https://t.co/Q6SOyBJLSa">pic.twitter.com/Q6SOyBJLSa</a></p>
— MPREG (@coolemma69) <a href="https://twitter.com/coolemma69/status/1421321786210197506?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">funniest possible downfall for disney imo. the girlbosses have unionized <a href="https://t.co/vBFSEBSIvN">https://t.co/vBFSEBSIvN</a></p>
— ashley logan (@eImstreet2) <a href="https://twitter.com/eImstreet2/status/1421165588982820864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 30, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">will always be accurate <a href="https://t.co/WCBc9kRCl7">pic.twitter.com/WCBc9kRCl7</a></p>
— Mac 🇵🇸 (@GoodPoliticGuy) <a href="https://twitter.com/GoodPoliticGuy/status/1421301936372944899?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">every time I google "LA weather" i half expect it to show me the weather in France</p>
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) <a href="https://twitter.com/matt_obrien/status/1421271084939190274?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>July 31</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I hate the word Fiancée. Why do i have to speak french just because youre getting married</p>
— cam (@harleybaghdad) <a href="https://twitter.com/harleybaghdad/status/1421509471646457865?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what do u do if you have to go to the bathroom <a href="https://t.co/y9CZa4tN4v">https://t.co/y9CZa4tN4v</a></p>
— leo (@MODELIONS) <a href="https://twitter.com/MODELIONS/status/1421675779079999491?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 1, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr">Ok <a href="https://t.co/Vk66kZugtK">pic.twitter.com/Vk66kZugtK</a></p>
— b (@lomehli) <a href="https://twitter.com/lomehli/status/1421656259682467840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 1, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Covid started out as a virus but mutated into an IQ test.</p>
— 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 (@Sundae_Gurl2) <a href="https://twitter.com/Sundae_Gurl2/status/1421478505414594564?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/w7eSZliqRA">pic.twitter.com/w7eSZliqRA</a></p>
— Out of Context Cats (@OocCats) <a href="https://twitter.com/OocCats/status/1421479878700961795?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">dababy getting canceled call that dabortion</p>
— may !!! (@okayitsmay) <a href="https://twitter.com/okayitsmay/status/1421467464504725504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 1</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what the hell is happening at lollapalooza <a href="https://t.co/nAQbPDDST8">pic.twitter.com/nAQbPDDST8</a></p>
— nat "cops break laws to terrorize/intimidate" puff (@LeftAtLondon) <a href="https://twitter.com/LeftAtLondon/status/1421917175586066436?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 1, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">no fucking way <a href="https://t.co/5xSHk8w5z3">pic.twitter.com/5xSHk8w5z3</a></p>
— big estaban (@bigestaban) <a href="https://twitter.com/bigestaban/status/1421979937985253381?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 1, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Many of you want to get railed in a sundress but none of you want to fund railways throughout the US</p>
— best retweeter on twiter (@USA_Comrade) <a href="https://twitter.com/USA_Comrade/status/1422023599800651778?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I went on a date with a guy who said he was 6'2. I would just like to announce that I too am 6'2 apparently.</p>
— The Hybrid (@kchamps613) <a href="https://twitter.com/kchamps613/status/1421939577229561856?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 1, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Gonna tell my kids this was their grandparents… 😂 <a href="https://t.co/1ejsxrUAaq">pic.twitter.com/1ejsxrUAaq</a></p>
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) <a href="https://twitter.com/ManMadeMoon/status/1422058651792011268?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the most outlaw thing you could do right now is be a good, honest, genuine, loving person. no one seems to be doing that</p>
— kat hasty (@kathasty) <a href="https://twitter.com/kathasty/status/1422073230093955072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 2</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ladies and gentlemen, the weekday. <a href="https://t.co/Houqf9Su1x">pic.twitter.com/Houqf9Su1x</a></p>
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) <a href="https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1422095675563646977?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">a cute lil update on my dating life lmfaooo <a href="https://t.co/JsVMfmPrjw">pic.twitter.com/JsVMfmPrjw</a></p>
— ᵇᵘᶜᵏʸ 🦙 (@blazin_bucky) <a href="https://twitter.com/blazin_bucky/status/1422287715635273734?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">To me bo burnham fans and hamilton fans are the same</p>
— KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity) (@horse_feedbag) <a href="https://twitter.com/horse_feedbag/status/1422330153250693142?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Here's a thread of pelicans trying to eat animals other than fish. Hope this helps. <a href="https://t.co/ZBLnzVFlVZ">pic.twitter.com/ZBLnzVFlVZ</a></p>
— Rachel Figueroa 😷🍈🍎🥕🐝🍄🌷🌻🌸🌱 (@Jewyorican) <a href="https://twitter.com/Jewyorican/status/1422262361017233421?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">by capitalist logic if we want better cops we should make them work for $2.13 an hour + tips</p>
— skáld (@HoratioSkald) <a href="https://twitter.com/HoratioSkald/status/1422418809495900165?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr">🙃 <a href="https://t.co/r3Szp0z4j1">pic.twitter.com/r3Szp0z4j1</a></p>
— Matthew Elliot (@matttbastard) <a href="https://twitter.com/matttbastard/status/1422255907812089857?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">3 deaths have been linked to getting vaccinated and 4.23 MILLION deaths have been linked to NOT getting vaccinated. It's so hard to decide.</p>
— Grey DeLisle-Griffin (@GreyDeLisle) <a href="https://twitter.com/GreyDeLisle/status/1422240660128604164?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 3</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">SNOOP JUST BE DOING ANYTHING 🤣🤣🤣<br>
<br>
WHY IS HE ON LAW AND ORDER??? LOL <a href="https://t.co/lCP87ptaYc">pic.twitter.com/lCP87ptaYc</a></p>
— MIR🧸 (@1RealMir) <a href="https://twitter.com/1RealMir/status/1422596051178033155?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">EXCUSE ME BUT THE SIGN LANGUAGE INTERPRETER DURING MEGAN'S PERFORMANCE OF WAP MUST BE SEEN <a href="https://t.co/6p590p5YS2">pic.twitter.com/6p590p5YS2</a></p>
— Alexa Lisitza (@AlexaLisitza) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlexaLisitza/status/1422580119756054544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN <a href="https://t.co/4kz8cFJFh0">pic.twitter.com/4kz8cFJFh0</a></p>
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) <a href="https://twitter.com/adamgreattweet/status/1422697908638523394?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What do these car emojis mean <a href="https://t.co/3jm0fiEjMA">pic.twitter.com/3jm0fiEjMA</a></p>
— Lil Spoon (Humbled 🙏 arc) (@501LilSpoon) <a href="https://twitter.com/501LilSpoon/status/1422709965555384320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">someone: is that—<br>
me: the new limited edition pasta box handbag? yeah, yeah it is <a href="https://t.co/0b5GfCrmgz">pic.twitter.com/0b5GfCrmgz</a></p>
— Elly Belle, notably not a woman 🔮 (@literElly) <a href="https://twitter.com/literElly/status/1422993379789623296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/qLd7xEdGpw">pic.twitter.com/qLd7xEdGpw</a></p>
— out of context bailey moon (@Baileymoon15) <a href="https://twitter.com/Baileymoon15/status/1422633507164131335?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why aren't I afraid of the vaccine? Because I got my ears pierced at Claire's, and that's a far bigger risk</p>
— Caitlin Arcand (@CaitlinArcand) <a href="https://twitter.com/CaitlinArcand/status/1422748024716017664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me after hearing about the delta plus variant <a href="https://t.co/6TWDWY7Mhk">pic.twitter.com/6TWDWY7Mhk</a></p>
— HEXED (@HEXED25) <a href="https://twitter.com/HEXED25/status/1422725701262839810?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">he's in his hammock <a href="https://t.co/NRr3VakEj8">pic.twitter.com/NRr3VakEj8</a></p>
— ໊ (@cottaegefairy) <a href="https://twitter.com/cottaegefairy/status/1422628462381211654?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 4</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">its so fucking funny to me that the GoT writers concluded Daenerys's arc with her becoming Hot Mess Hitler and doing Operation Rolling Thunder while fully aware that thousands of women had already named their real life daughters after her</p>
— Fozzie Fuck (@JimothyBurg1ary) <a href="https://twitter.com/JimothyBurg1ary/status/1423149852695961605?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">when you finally master perpendicular parking <a href="https://t.co/FLm3R5Pkf3">pic.twitter.com/FLm3R5Pkf3</a></p>
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) <a href="https://twitter.com/LizerReal/status/1422903606479572993?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">why are kids calling themselves submissive and breedable like go do your homework it needs to be submitted and readable</p>
— gay little exterior designer (@possumzPARTY) <a href="https://twitter.com/possumzPARTY/status/1422969783813873668?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I will never again doubt fictional stupidity. In TV, movies, anything. There's a poison that literally kills people and there's an antidote but people don't take it because they think it MIGHT be bad based on what like 11 dummies said, and all 11 dummies took the antidote.</p>
— Kevin Seccia (@kevinseccia) <a href="https://twitter.com/kevinseccia/status/1423146292750872583?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Y'all. Look at this ad the state of Arkansas is using to try and convince people to get vaccinated… 😭 <a href="https://t.co/oIO6dYmYcC">pic.twitter.com/oIO6dYmYcC</a></p>
— Key. (@keywilliamss_) <a href="https://twitter.com/keywilliamss_/status/1423027044212830209?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>August 5</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/w6DPgm9sv1">pic.twitter.com/w6DPgm9sv1</a></p>
— don't hug me i'm porksweats (@porksweats1) <a href="https://twitter.com/porksweats1/status/1423250723182108681?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"History books will not be kind"<br>
I've never had a social studies class that made it past 1950</p>
— Mike Schuster (@mcs212) <a href="https://twitter.com/mcs212/status/1423299198770950145?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Meet the 16 year old entrepreneur interested in cryptocurrency <a href="https://t.co/jQfZMMPuYo">pic.twitter.com/jQfZMMPuYo</a></p>
— Lil' tim (@PostinMonkey) <a href="https://twitter.com/PostinMonkey/status/1423421228451123201?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: August 6, 2021

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