John Candy appears, the next 4 years, constantly on the brink of tears, the nativity guys having beers, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

December 22

Yoooooo🤣🤣😂😂😂 yall be on one😩I'm done🤣I needed this laugh tho😂 https://t.co/UxT2FDJbUf
— Missy Elliott (@MissyElliott) December 22, 2023

you think the nativity guys ever hung out again. having beers like haha remember when we saw that baby
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) December 23, 2023

three wise men? three? be serious
— ten second cam (@camilli_amilli) December 22, 2023

what do you mean you don't like it, i drew it for you pic.twitter.com/4rP3RjsjP2
— Tommy Siegel (@TommySiegel) December 22, 2023

This would work on me, sorry https://t.co/nCpjSQAJ5r
— Tyler (@tyler_cov) December 22, 2023

she roasting my chestnuts til i open fire
— summer ♡ (@summerahrens) December 22, 2023

"brain damage put his politics on my level" is not the boast you think it is pic.twitter.com/58wVZUv0hn
— Quantum Tweet (@ProsinPlanet) December 22, 2023

every conservative party in existence: pic.twitter.com/npsF9JR0au
— sean (@_sn_n) December 23, 2023

I have to defend Rogan and Nickal here. Everyone is mocking them for being hypocrites here but what everyone is missing is that they are both very biased. https://t.co/gRD9fBB307
— John S. Nash (@heynottheface) December 22, 2023

Don't forget that Joe Rogan and his crew are like 95% white males millionaires, in their 40's and 50's, and yet everyone is like, "Oh, the cool crowd has turned on Biden." What cool crowd?
It's a bunch of white male millionaires in their 40's and 50's being... Republicans.
— A.J. Delgado (@AJDelgado13) December 22, 2023

scooby-doo antagonists when their cellmate asks how they ended up in jail pic.twitter.com/iJsmJrdole
— Ghost of Toyotathon Sales Event Past (@PanasonicDX4500) December 23, 2023

Let's fucking go is white peoples allahu akbar
— CoKane (@KanesCabDriv3r) December 22, 2023

A $1.5 trillion company is tweeting about eating cum https://t.co/sAx7TQhFqX
— mkb (@MatthewKBegbie) December 23, 2023

Me seeing every 30 rock tweet: pic.twitter.com/uwgvm2fq5x
— jor (@jor_nyc) December 23, 2023

This is one 30 Rock joke I think about it all the time. Never leaves my brain for some reason pic.twitter.com/O23Y1qiVXk
— Valondar (@VK_HM) December 23, 2023

My tl is entirely 30 Rock jokes and it's the best since Trump Covid night
— Swolecialist (@BlackLanterrn) December 23, 2023

Since everyone is talking about 30 Rock, here's a scene I regularly quote every time I travel out of town pic.twitter.com/XmRxWPTF4V
— Open Carrie Bradshaw (@GabOfGool) December 23, 2023

This is my favorite 30 Rock joke. https://t.co/JtJPLcYNKQ pic.twitter.com/tYWEGxOprd
— Jamie (@JamieMcCarty) December 22, 2023

I could never pick a favorite 30 Rock joke, but this is definitely up there pic.twitter.com/c7Z3CgTX2k
— Żarówka (@BivouacChillin) December 23, 2023

Too many incredible jokes from #30Rock but this is so dumb it'll always make me laugh. https://t.co/JoiWiZAdH2 pic.twitter.com/5bmEhKeU0f
— Metro Doomin 💀 (@mikellevirey) December 23, 2023

December 23

Arachnophobia is stupid.. like just let the spiders get married
— ⨝ (@Holy_Caligula) December 24, 2023

yeah i think i'm going to fucking quit pic.twitter.com/1o7b4psM7Q
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) December 23, 2023

no babe i think it's awesome that ur alarm wakes everyone up ecvept u
— gill (@contactabrother) December 23, 2023

They on tiktok asking their husbands if they know who Simone Biles is & then asking if they know her husband 😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/NWA2UfC1EA
— The Real Destiny Marilyn (@sweet_novacanee) December 23, 2023

God spent the next 4 years trying to kill us all immediately after this https://t.co/MyvqvpmqIF
— Okiro (@TheFirstOkiro) December 23, 2023

pic.twitter.com/sz6dCAP6UQ https://t.co/lFtnEi31zx
— issa rae's favorite interviewer. (@TheGreatIsNate) December 23, 2023

GAME OF THE THRONES SEASON 1: power concedes only unto power

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 6: His name is Hodor because he ho'ds da door
— ALEX PTAK'S TEST KITCHEN (@PtakTestKitchen) December 23, 2023

You have to let it breathe for a few minutes pic.twitter.com/EQfWX8rUMD
— Pat Dennis (@patdennis) December 23, 2023

There are comedy writers who spend countless hours lying awake at night knowing that they'll never be able to replicate a moment of satire as perfect as this does naturally https://t.co/yZY5mDYAg0
— Casey Evans (@Casey_Evans_) December 23, 2023

This bit from 30 Rock always makes me laugh. First time I watched I didn't expect that punchline and I was crying laughing for 5 mins https://t.co/Hv6ylGVi0r pic.twitter.com/KCvaM6TpE5
— Raul Muciño (@raoulmc) December 23, 2023

no one in the 30 rock renaissance has posted ab operation righteous cowboy lightning so i am here to fix that https://t.co/XafLih3vie pic.twitter.com/x5g4UEamUZ
— i'm manic and i have anxiety i'm so fucking sorry (@ohhhhhhmyg) December 24, 2023

I'm sorry to correct all of you, but the best 30 Rock joke is that Kenneth is immortal https://t.co/8YSrF4TfY6 pic.twitter.com/g9JH0hWeKM
— Roland Wood 🎄 (@rgw_iv) December 24, 2023

If we're talking best 30 Rock jokes, this has got to be up there https://t.co/ED0TqATtOo pic.twitter.com/v94wV4X0Cw
— Patrick (@patrick_wb95) December 23, 2023

This makes me howl every time. God bless 30 Rock https://t.co/Nf96qvIjit pic.twitter.com/Rn17Wmzang
— Dan (@carlosdanger06) December 23, 2023

it's spelled "Jenna's side" https://t.co/Z58kL7E1q4 pic.twitter.com/tu5v30zgHd
— Harry Lockheart's Missing Finger Facts (@Douggernaut_2) December 23, 2023

December 24

Some of my favorite 30 rock bits pic.twitter.com/zCSu8OE2Ki
— River_Tam (@RiverTamYDN) December 24, 2023

I was thinking "Twitter is so much better when it's all 30 Rock why isn't there a way to just see this?" and then realized there is so I'm rewatching 30 Rock
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) December 24, 2023

why do guys named timothy go by tim when they could go by moth
— leon 🌟 (@witchdaddio) December 24, 2023

This is the entire reason the internet was invented.

IG @ smacmcreanor pic.twitter.com/IE59LnfN9G
— bonky ⚘ she/her (@shesbonky) December 25, 2023

okay *this* once-and-for-all might be my favorite twitter exchange of 2023, courtesy of Buffy screenwriter Jane Espenson: pic.twitter.com/N6aMIlxGQk
— Sarah Sunfire☀️🔥 (@SarahMNeilson) December 25, 2023

Hi Kevin

Apparently you still haven't learned that Christmas predates Christianity

It's a tradition inspired by the Romans, Celtics, Norse, Druids, and more

Keep your narrow-minded interpretation of Christianity out of my holiday

Kind regards
Santa Claus https://t.co/rWuWPXjfx0
— Santa Claus 🎅🏻☃️🎄🦌🛷 (@Old_Santa_Claus) December 24, 2023

Person 1: hey did you go see the new Holy Infant?

Person 2: I did

Person 1: what's he like?

Person 2: so tender and mild

Person 1: what
— Drew Garland (@drew_garland) December 24, 2023

when someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that "well maybe you should have thought of that sooner" is a helpful phrase
— BRYN_BORANGA (@BRYN_BORANGA) December 24, 2023

Wife: Does anyone else hear that noise?

Me, hiding the 76 birds I plan on giving her over the next 12 days in the basement: Looks like someone forgot to take their lexapro again you silly goose!
— Céad Míle Fáilte (@ColeyMick) December 24, 2023

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's changing the font,
To make it look nice,
Santa Claus' priorities are wrong
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 24, 2023

i just checked santa tracker and he hasn't moved from your mom's house for a couple hours bro
— 〽️ax krieger is STREAMING FRI 12/29 8PM EST (@MaxKriegerVG) December 25, 2023

https://t.co/gajC59nkuY pic.twitter.com/XikhRAmvQd
— nikki mccann ramírez (@NikkiMcR) December 25, 2023

i just checked the santa tracker and it says he's currently ovulating
— jos (@josiahhughes) December 25, 2023

sent happy holidays to my brother and his fiancé and she replied to the whole family like "we aren't together anymore because of his actions, i did nothing but love him" and then the whole family chat was like "oh damn girl, sorry, but just know we all knew it was his fault ❤️"
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) December 24, 2023

[inventing the grinch] santa needs a wario
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) December 25, 2023

some of you don gay apparel all year round
— latke (@latkedelrey) December 25, 2023

using daddy in bed: weird, incestuous, unnecessarily gendered

using captain in bed: authoritative, gender neutral, implies the exciting possiblity of mutiny
— Shae Reloaded (@judgementshae) December 24, 2023

Today I got fired from the sperm clinic I have worked at for 4 years. I had been purposely destroying samples from white donors and got caught. I don't regret what I did and will continue to work to prevent white people from reproducing.
— andrew (@mrnastynodrama) December 24, 2023

ok so the evil hospital we destroyed turned out to be a normal hospital? Uh oh!! hope we dont make the same mistake 100 more times
— wint (@dril) December 24, 2023

hell yeah new york is a suicide pact now https://t.co/E84xW9MA9y
— soul khan (@soulkhan) December 24, 2023

yeah i'm okay i'm just a little bit always worried about everything
— clare (@sadderlizards) December 25, 2023

Sorry babe tell your parents I can't make it to dinner. Someone on the computer just said 30 rock has "ableist bisexual energy" and me and 45 of the most dehydrated guys on earth are teaming up to find their home address
— computer man (@gloomfather) December 25, 2023

Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a great vet.
— Jamie Kay (@TheRealJamieKay) December 26, 2023

pic.twitter.com/wlhkajM5qM
— All things interesting (@image_origins) December 26, 2023

just one more thing, mr. netanyahu, and then im outta your hair. i never mentioned you in my tweet about war crimes, so what made you immediately assume i was talking about you? https://t.co/VQtlbRhj56 pic.twitter.com/EqCsfjL0JQ
— bæddel-meinhof (@t34doll) December 25, 2023

"Your vehicle cannot be driven" over a software update is crazy. https://t.co/gDLRZwS8bk
— Sulu (@sulamatraore) December 25, 2023

white republicans when they take the vaccine https://t.co/Lpv5GyxOSb
— jolly fella (@pxxgie) December 25, 2023

me: you boy what day is it today?

boy: nonces shouts out of the window day.

me: oof you've absolutely done me there.
— Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) December 25, 2023

Every kid at 6:00 AM this morning waking their parents up

pic.twitter.com/kfWIsHtHZn
— Ben (@MrGoodlyCooks) December 25, 2023

Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.

Neighbor: Nice. I got-

Me: I know. I watched you guys open everything.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 26, 2023

can i get just a normal pic of your presents and one with the wrapping paper spread a bit open? can i get a picture of you opening them? can i get a pic of your presents and tree from behind in one shot? can i also get a pic of your stockings in front of the fireplace? and can i
— dxm looney tunes 🇵🇸 (@jackiecore666) December 25, 2023

getting wasted and commenting "nightmare blunt rotation" on everyone's facebook family christmas photos
— blue oyster clit (@mcdonaldskhole) December 25, 2023

Apparently I got my fiancée the wrong Dyson Air-thingy? pic.twitter.com/DCae93ssdP
— Angus Duncan (@Angus_Duncan) December 25, 2023

pic.twitter.com/tjvMgedS4F
— Books and Wine (@booksandwine76) December 25, 2023

this is how you do it https://t.co/UyMVhmjobH pic.twitter.com/gfeMqidgkU
— Tom Warren (@tomwarren) December 26, 2023

you'll never guess what he's getting sturdy to https://t.co/Z49N4dZMrk
— Don Von 🕴🏾 (@javrrivera) December 25, 2023

me leaving the family function as soon as possible pic.twitter.com/rzr9oetDde
— clare (@sadderlizards) December 25, 2023

stepmom made salmon for xmas dinner, and when my dad and uncle complained about the lack of "actual meat" she said "i'm pescatarian". and when they said "we're not" she said "you know what else you're not? cooking" pic.twitter.com/Mya5ITn47w
— Topher J. Babb (@xtopher_babb) December 25, 2023

pretty sure whoever invented the no elbows on the table rule was just doing it to be annoying
— fellow human (@inherentvibes) December 26, 2023

Shoutout to the woman who yelled in anger as Wonka began "this stupid thing is a musical?!"

[Editor's note: the woman was my mother-in-law. I was sitting with her. This was a full theater.]
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) December 25, 2023

xs

"when are you going to have kids" grandma it's 60° on Christmas, I'm not 💯
— Cait🧃 (@CaitCamelia) December 25, 2023

In HOME ALONE, Kevin's mom says she'd sell her soul to the devil to get home and that's the exact moment John Candy appears. Did the Kenosha Kickers sign a deal in blood at the crossroads with Gus Polinski to find eternal stardom on the Midwest polka circuit? Perhaps! pic.twitter.com/PctpJ2XpGv
— Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) December 26, 2023

https://t.co/svalM7kEuM pic.twitter.com/Me33egRY2g
— adrian (@yourpalcrawf) December 25, 2023

If you think THIS is bad, just wait till you actually get on the plane! https://t.co/2nOkE4bry0
— 🎄 Ryan Aguirre 🎄 (@aguirreryan) December 25, 2023

patrick mahomes in the middle of a down year: big puffy red eyes, constantly on the brink of tears, screaming at officials and coworkers

josh allen in the middle of a down year: https://t.co/eDbBsb7sEh
— victoria zeller (@dirtbagqueer) December 25, 2023

Thank you for this CBS.pic.twitter.com/GFf4vgiKPL
— ✶ Ⓜ️𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕦𝕤 ▶️ ✶ (@_MarcusD3_) December 25, 2023

this is absolutely despicable, my 4 year old kid just ran around screaming "fuck god" thanks taylor swift, you ruined my families christmas https://t.co/n3x6ree68Z
— VINNY JACKSON (@vinnyjackson217) December 25, 2023

Half the NFL is balancing a wife and multiple side pieces but somehow the female billionaire who's known for having insane work ethic is a distraction?

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are not distracting the team at all.

Just be open about the fact that you hate women Skip 👍 https://t.co/n1jaUsh5Dp
— Mars (@ApolloTaken17) December 25, 2023

Taylor Swift is better than the Beatles

(The first day of Kwanzaa is about trying to make white people fight each other)
— Skyler Higley (@skyler_higley) December 26, 2023

Some people exercise before breakfast.

I've watched a show I didn't like because the remote fell on the floor.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 26, 2023

pic.twitter.com/lXv5BVv48K
— blake (@blakeslun) December 27, 2023

Theodore Kaczynski, the mathematician? pic.twitter.com/rGdaqkOT44
— 𝕊𝕀𝕦𝕣𝕞 👑 (@SLURMK_) December 26, 2023

responding to texts i received 5 days ago at 1am pic.twitter.com/YbZu7ohif8
— ̊ (@doxie_gay) December 27, 2023

Nostalgia is proof that you are living a life worth living, it is a privilege to yearn for your own memories
— Daniel (@dadogeking) December 26, 2023

do streaming platforms remember why we started using streaming platforms https://t.co/Sy6eOW1b6s
— nick ! (@lovechazelle) December 26, 2023

pic.twitter.com/Hw2iFVlBSu https://t.co/Z0wVo0jyui
— el (@SOLEILIBERTE) December 26, 2023

either raise the prices of podcast equipment or perform background checks before microphone purchases. we need podcast regulations in 2024
— alaa (@_uncuntgems) December 27, 2023

imagine how many males unwrapped podcast equipment for christmas yesterday pic.twitter.com/lAkURRibd3
— lil peanut 🥜 (@such_A_frknlady) December 26, 2023

The Husseins, 2004 https://t.co/fM9aDGRsNl
— Sperry Bonds (@TheTopGrant) December 27, 2023

Pistons games should be broadcast on every national network like a Presidential address until they win a game. Put them on the screens in Times Square like the OJ verdict. Automatically play the last five minutes on our phones like an Amber alert
— AK Lingus (@aklingus) December 27, 2023

One of the funniest posts ever put on this website. pic.twitter.com/ghD4lDBTLe
— 🅱️lackula (Jakey 2X) (@FiveForFedding) December 26, 2023

They're not sending their best.
Bubby. pic.twitter.com/nDBMbeMnD3
— 𝙱𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚢𝙳𝟹 (@billyd3_) December 26, 2023

That little hole is a VENT. If you stick something in there and block it what you've made is a BAWMB. https://t.co/8wS7i0NqLy
— Grip Bayless (@talleyberrybaby) December 26, 2023

hate going home it's always all "bella remember when you put diesel in your car" "remember when you ruined the gas lines of the car you put diesel in" "remember how the pump isn't made for your car so you stood back and sprayed the diesel in your car at a distance"
— isabella (@scarykneegirl) December 26, 2023

"Jared Fogle, the guy with the big jeans" pic.twitter.com/DiALt0bDqm
— kelbin (@pissboymcgee) December 27, 2023

once you get a soft closing toilet lid you spend the rest of your life shocked by the rest of the world's deafeningly loud toilet lid bangs. you barbarians just live like this? when a better world is so close at hand?
— lauren (@Very__Regular) December 27, 2023

As a kid I always used to wonder why adults don't do sleepovers.
The agony of not sleeping in your own bed? I get it now.
— Tumi Mohapi (@morakanemohapi) December 26, 2023

One funny thing you notice when you study history is that basically every society since the dawn of civilization has produced the type of dolt who believes this about whatever system they happened to be born under. pic.twitter.com/WSGvzf6jo8
— The Discourse Lover (@Trillburne) December 26, 2023

congrats rocky gervais on beating "tv fireplace people put on in the background" pic.twitter.com/hM1soFNQyW
— ashley ray (@theashleyray) December 27, 2023

Just found out the Ricky Gervais subreddit hates him lmao pic.twitter.com/KJ3ysVmhkw
— loudmouth internet buffoon ☭ (@DanielPerryUK) December 27, 2023

The Chiefs: *don't address glaring WR needs*

Men: I can't believe Taylor Swift would do this to the Chiefs
— Caroline Darney (@cwdarney) December 26, 2023

Weird how the MAGA folks are so mad at Taylor Swift for reacting at an NFL game when they shouldn't see her anyway considering they boycotted the NFL like 4 different times by now https://t.co/nxTsJJOPS4
— lindsey ok (@lindseyyok) December 27, 2023

You could try until the end of time itself and you'd still never guess how this video ends. https://t.co/Z1PqYsD0Ms
— kev (@stillexpress) December 26, 2023

i'm crying at Ayo Edebiri's review of The Departed pic.twitter.com/Wkn6kAG16X
— ash (@yourbuddyash) December 26, 2023

these are my two favorite reviews I think about daily https://t.co/qrAgrvECGr pic.twitter.com/PrlsHm2Y4M
— lj (JSTOR stan account) (@ljinthealps) December 26, 2023

December 27

Daniel Day-Lewis is still my favourite Willy Wonka 🍫 pic.twitter.com/vRITjA5IUM
— James Rai (@MovieDisciple) December 27, 2023

Cybertruck looks even worse in person pic.twitter.com/gJTGOHO5KY
— Sean O'Neill (@SeanOhhhh) December 28, 2023

Ten thousand dissertations all called "the American novel since 1945" reduced to a single sentence https://t.co/eSNwYe66cy
— James (@exhaustdata) December 27, 2023

Being a college professor is the dream, dude. $80,000+ per year just to fuckin yap about your interests in a big auditorium
— Faggot Jackass (@GeebMinister) December 27, 2023

these are the people who want to abolish the Department of Education 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻 pic.twitter.com/7xpAR2lJQK
— LeGate (@williamlegate) December 28, 2023

stop generating AI images. stop sharing them. i don't understand why any of you are doing this. i don't understand. don't you not want to live in a world like that
— aLec robBins (@alecrobbins) December 28, 2023

at least this thing that sucks and wants to destroy the lives of everyone who doesn't want to work at an amazon fulfillment center also is killing us pic.twitter.com/0yEm7xdYrh
— Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) December 27, 2023

SpotFuck!ngOn. pic.twitter.com/NwKlMwX8Eh
— The Dread duck Pirate Mark Brooks (@MarkBrooksArt) December 28, 2023

No more "smart" appliances. If an object from my kitchen greets me I will hit it with a bat
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) December 27, 2023

Absolute easiest way to raise your vibration is by saying hello to animals when you pass them. Anyone who scoffs at someone waving to a bird is wallowing in hell. Say hello to a duck and you will naturally attract your dreams.
— jim (@jamesmurtagh) December 27, 2023

Asking for a sick day feels so infantalizing, composing a professional email to be like "I frew up"
— cas says free palestine (@CrappyFumes) December 27, 2023

football team lost bc a woman was in the stands cheering. also many ships sink bc a woman is on board. and did u know if a woman is a witch she will float in water? I was born in 1602 and I am very smart
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) December 27, 2023

Currently sitting on a flight. The woman across the aisle from me is wrangling a toddler + a child who is maybe 5 yrs old. The toddler is crying and the child is throwing a tantrum. The husband? Sitting in the row in front of them wearing noise canceling headphones. A useless man
— Cora Harrington (@lingerie_addict) December 27, 2023

The NBA is letting Miles Bridges and Josh Giddey play basketball.

I don't care about Ja's celebration. https://t.co/zYxDV0FiZN
— colton (@AggieFanColton) December 27, 2023

finally getting punished https://t.co/mFDFa5CZG7
— Mari (@ohhhthatsMari) December 27, 2023

Every time I hear a story about someone moving to LA or NYC with $500, no job, no place to live but with a dream…I realize I don't have that dog in me fr, I don't have that type of hustle
— Makay (@MaKaylaMaShelle) December 28, 2023

I really don't want to see millennials, and Gen Z making fun of boomers anymore, bc the way many of you watch staged tiktok skits and respond to them like they're documentaries is, frankly, nuts.
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) December 27, 2023

If we as a society hated rich people even a fraction of how much we hate poor people we could actually get somewhere https://t.co/uvNlnTtOuX
— Я (@iramaJsucraM) December 28, 2023

Tom Brady was married to the richest, most famous supermodel in the world while he quarterbacked a whole second dynasty

you guys are so goddamn corny https://t.co/67vMtGyFcR
— Tanya Ray Fox (@TanyaRayFox) December 27, 2023

Y'all are afraid to be corny.

Not me. I live life on the cob
— Black Air Force Energy (@Derekalexander_) December 27, 2023

instead of having "winter" with "snow," the east coast now apparently has a season that can only be described as "pacific northwest mode": dark, wet, foggy, 45 degrees
— Matthew Zeitlin (@MattZeitlin) December 28, 2023

I'm not making any resolutions, I think it's time for the years to be better, not me.
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) December 27, 2023

BREAKING: When a judge today asked Donald Trump if his claim that Mike Pence had the right to refuse to certify Biden's victory also means that Kamala Harris has the right to refuse certifying the election if he wins in 2024, Trump froze for 7 seconds before saying "No."
— The Halfway Post (@HalfwayPost) December 27, 2023

MAGA says @JoeBiden has full immunity -- is that right?
And @KamalaHarris can simply not certify the vote if Trump wins -- is that right?
— Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) December 28, 2023

December 28

It will never not be incredible to me how nearly *every* single person (man) that drives a truck like this is likely one of the biggest fucking babies you have ever met in your entire life. Emotional intelligence is in the trash can. Insecurity is through the roof. It's insane. https://t.co/1D4zYVfZLg
— Dylan (@dmc_dmcc) December 28, 2023

When you're watching a movie with your buddy and you see a really fucked up or dumb guy pic.twitter.com/Va0ZP8w6kD
— antipodean scourge (@guywhoiswoke) December 28, 2023

i just wanna congratulate all of you on making it through 2020 again this year
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) December 28, 2023

I'm a seventh generation Mississippian named for Jeb Stuart. Nikki Haley is repeating the essence of the "Lost Cause" myth. To say this in 2023 is extraordinary. It's disqualifying. https://t.co/K50jPmSi0G
— Stuart Stevens (@stuartpstevens) December 29, 2023

My party peaked in 1865 is quite the statementhttps://t.co/2XbP1sTFOH
— Nick Field (@nick_field90) December 28, 2023

"what was the cause of the United States Civil War?"

Nikki Haley: pic.twitter.com/FsPZS2yqkI
— Criz Garoppolo #🟦 (@crizteeneeta) December 28, 2023

In spite of being a mother and grandmother, I selfishly committed a crime. I was arrested and let out on bail, but I was too stupid to follow those rules so I was put on home arrest. Now I am going to prison for the crime I committed.

- Fixed that for you, Rachel. https://t.co/b27znnPwWl
— Scottacular (@Scottcrates) December 28, 2023

pic.twitter.com/edEWECvXv2
— Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken (@woofknight) December 28, 2023

🫢 pic.twitter.com/MJeGRUi5AP
— Jess Piper (@piper4missouri) December 28, 2023

https://t.co/tk8aJ8e4rx pic.twitter.com/LpamgmUGB9
— Sam Morril (@sammorril) December 28, 2023

I think the Pistons losing streak is good for the league. We are all watching Celtics Pistons on a Thursday like its a playoff game
— Kyle Lowry Extremist (@gnavas103) December 29, 2023

Let Tim Robinson coach the Pistons.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) December 28, 2023

The greatest post that was ever created pic.twitter.com/RWYtgsuxzu
— DEI Antwoord (@avemazov) December 28, 2023

It was at the buzzer but we got delivered one of the best photos of 2023 today pic.twitter.com/ndBxCckXUU
— Shaun Newkirk (@Shauncore) December 29, 2023

fuck it poptart singing higher by creed pic.twitter.com/ZF0nKuJ7dA
— pepper brooks (@pepperyball) December 29, 2023

Pre-holidays: I'm excited for a break!

During the holidays: If I don't return to my routine in the next 12 hours I will experience full mind and body dissociation
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 28, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 29, 2023

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