Curious George has a bird, not using your password, Buffalo Wild Wings for nerds, Matt O'Brien leaks the word, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

January 28

I drew this 🐵 pic.twitter.com/BNZ3IJhD0T
— Christian Tucci (@chrtucci) January 28, 2022

Still one of the greatest things ever written pic.twitter.com/UDks8C8dRW
— Ty (@seafoodking7642) January 28, 2022

this taco bell review is killing me pic.twitter.com/7MEjTDHRwV
— milk (@milkinhisbag) January 29, 2022

pic.twitter.com/j6H1mA4eQh
— letterboxd reviews with threatening auras (@letterboxdauras) January 28, 2022

Finally pic.twitter.com/kOzszaN9eE
— Hector (@dbzfan323) January 29, 2022

He does this when it snows pic.twitter.com/7zmBGGX9SY
— Just Mike (@mshaf2) January 28, 2022

January 29

No I will not use your crazy ass very strong password thank u very much
— Dylan Adler (@DylanAdler6) January 29, 2022

Knowing that Tolkien's original name for Frodo was Bingo, this is all I can think of whenever I watch this scene. pic.twitter.com/1L1SfYl95i
— Alicia Matz, sad girl autumn version (@duxfeminafacti9) January 30, 2022

Dang, my 250 million year old salt has expired pic.twitter.com/aRetJ6tFFk
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) January 30, 2022

4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.

Him: You... just went in?

4yo: Yeah. Just looked around at their stuff.

(A museum. I took them to a museum.)
— Renée Agatep (@GoingByRenee) January 29, 2022

carb/tomato/cheese is the best thing our species has ever done. pizza? perfect. quesadilla with salsa? genius. grilled cheese with ketchup or tomato soup? joyful. pasta with marinara and parm? beautiful. carb/tomato/cheese CARB/TOMATO/CHEESE
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) January 30, 2022

"customer is always right" is so funny, the customer doesn't know what the fuck is goin on lmao
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) January 30, 2022

pic.twitter.com/n5eUw5AkQM
— Savvy🚩 (@sleepesocialist) January 30, 2022

I don't really care about this issue but it would be funny if Joe Rogan had to sing all the Neil Young songs they took off Spotify
— broti gupta OUR DEMOCRACY IS IN DANGER (@BrotiGupta) January 29, 2022

Neil Young, now Joni Mitchell. Canada has had it. Anne Murray, go off. Gordon Lightfoot, attack.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 29, 2022

BREAKING: white people ok with defacing statues now https://t.co/RFzNArosEz
— Walking Eagle News (@TheEagleist) January 29, 2022

The Canadian Media today pic.twitter.com/WncZisAiC1
— Matt Bosty & Co (@MattBosty) January 30, 2022

January 30

me: finally getting eight hours of sleep

my neck: yeah but u did it wrong lol
— Noah ✵ (@noahdonotcare) January 30, 2022

NOOOOO THIS SCHOLAR'S NAME IS 'SHERK' AND I CITED HIM THROUGHOUT MY ESSAY AS 'SHREK'
— river 𓆡𓆏 (@mirabiledicktu) January 30, 2022

pic.twitter.com/V1q0yMlFKu
— Norm Charlatan (@normcharlatan) January 31, 2022

cussing at school then stopping when i got home was my first mastered skill
— $𝔩𝔞𝔭☃️ (@slvppy) January 30, 2022

this line up is insane pic.twitter.com/hMxvkEdJXk
— Amealz (@amealzia) January 31, 2022

Having fun imagining Martin Short working at any job other than acting
— Matthew Levy (@MattLevy51) January 31, 2022

Last week i was shopping for $200 lingerie to wear on Valentine's Day for a man who is now blocked
— hanna (@hannaemilyy) January 30, 2022

saying this isn't Canada after a summer of finding Indigenous children's bodies in unmarked graves, five years after an Islamophobic massacre, while Indigenous land defenders are brutalized by the RCMP but yeah this isn't Canada
— nashwa (@nashwakay) January 31, 2022

January 31

If I were the NY Times I'd make Wordle free to play but charge 99 cents to post your score on Twitter.
— Hemal Jhaveri (@hemjhaveri) January 31, 2022

wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan - wordle - NFT - Joe Rogan
— Sanj (@sanjmovies) February 1, 2022

me trying to vent: idk like it's idk dude idk
— ًcortez (@cxrtezs) February 1, 2022

I wish there was a word for:

"I love you, my spectacular beautiful friend. Unfortunately, I'm so exhausted I don't have the energy to communicate. But I want to indicate that although we've not spoken in some time, my love for you is undying and I am your eternal supporter."
— Mia Violet (@OhMiaGod) January 31, 2022

Never not relevant pic.twitter.com/OjaZgcsKpv
— Bethany Black twitch.tv/beffernieblack (@BeffernieBlack) January 31, 2022

one time Elizabeth Warren proposed making the ultra-wealthy pay 2 cents on every dollar of their net worth above $50 million and people called it unreasonable https://t.co/ULY0cvlkZl
— shauna (@goldengateblond) January 31, 2022

Ottawa Police declare protest peaceful so long as public avoids it for their own safety #cdnpoli
— The Beaverton (@TheBeaverton) January 31, 2022

When I worked front desk at a studio A$AP came in and I didn't realize who he was so I asked him to sign in on the sheet and he said "A$AP?" and I said "yes now if you wouldn't mind" and he smiled and didn't make fun of me so yes he'll be a great dad
— Emily Bernstein (@emilybern) January 31, 2022

Drake gonna drop some bars like "woman of my dreams having a baby & I ain't responsible, when that shit get Rocky I hope she hit my line As Soon As Possible"
— V ØR VØSS (@NL_Vossi) January 31, 2022

Top 5 Worst Musical Boxers:

5. Roberto Durán Durán
4. Sugar Ray
3. Jake LaMotta The Hoople
2. Cotton Eye Joe Louis
1. Jars of Cassius Clay
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) January 31, 2022

February 1

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume

me: yes that's when i didn't have a job
— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) February 2, 2022

"you don't have to pause it" - the most heartbreaking sentence in the world
— danny devito with titties ⚪ (@fakedannydevito) February 2, 2022

This tweet will forever be gold: pic.twitter.com/90wnBqCSEw
— LaDarrion Williams (@ItsLaDarrion) February 1, 2022

the only trilogy i care about pic.twitter.com/MmqmgeGWpD
— YAKUMO MURAI BLOOPER REEL (@godatelier) February 1, 2022

pic.twitter.com/e94tPffriR
— Strange Duolingo Sentences (@DuolingoStrange) February 1, 2022

birth certificates really the most pointless thing, why i gotta prove to you i was born bro i'm right here
— J. ✰ (@jtharuler) February 2, 2022

she just like me fr pic.twitter.com/7dJmbJcDUL
— KnowNothing (@KnowNothingTV) February 2, 2022

February 2

Retweet if you're also a Truck Freak pic.twitter.com/1GUh2wzR0h
— Truck Freak (@egg_dog) February 2, 2022

Coming to Ottawa to complain about provincial lockdowns is like yelling at a Wendy's worker because your Big Mac was cold.
— Ian Mendes (@ian_mendes) February 2, 2022

We live in such weird times because a protest (that is still) trying to oust Justin Trudeau has ended up removing Erin O'Toole, the only federal leader to meet them?

I'm flabbergasted.
— Fatima Syed (@fatimabsyed) February 2, 2022

Six more weeks of flavor pic.twitter.com/nmwyu0hLKu
— Flavortown (@flavortown) February 2, 2022

On groundhog day we are reminded that really no one is in a position to be making fun of astrology girls
— G. L. DiVittorio (@gldivittorio) February 2, 2022

when god closes a door, he opens a window ❤️ unfortunately we are in a submarine
— trash jones (@jzux) February 2, 2022

My friend showed me how they fixed the water stain on the ceiling in their office. pic.twitter.com/ksnF1QAtQv
— Canaffle Dax ✨💕 (@Canaffle) February 2, 2022

hmm. agree with most of this pic.twitter.com/FWNDv5ijFd
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 2, 2022

February 3

We've lost Erin O'Toole AND the leader of ISIS in the past 48 hours. It's a bad time for men in politics.
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) February 3, 2022

my guy said abolish the police https://t.co/hrgipCL3LK
— negro frolics (@DesmondCole) February 3, 2022

excited to announce that I just started my new job at Wordle pic.twitter.com/0PzciSh2Kq
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) February 3, 2022

A woman in my building was talking to the police because there was a man exposing himself in our lobby and they asked her to describe him and she said, "maybe 7 inches?"
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) February 3, 2022

This is comedian Michael McDonald, who thanks to his appearances in both AUSTIN POWERS (1997) and HALLOWEEN KILLS (2021), is the only person to have been killed on-screen by both Mike Myers and Michael Myers. pic.twitter.com/3l4mCmt3fW
— Dave Wain (@thedavewain) February 3, 2022

me: my father shall hear of this

them: is he powerful and wealthy?

me: no we're just close
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 3, 2022

there should be a Buffalo Wild Wings for nerds, like, the same food but forty or fifty giant TVs showing nerd shit instead of sports
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) February 3, 2022

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: February 4, 2022

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