January 12
I watched this at 2 AM and felt like I was having a fever dream. It's rife with meme potential: pic.twitter.com/NfLYXdcvfg
— ALTON☭ (@8ALTON8) January 12, 2019
u guys lay off kristy Swanson my father JETPLANE was on fire in a field because of draft dodgers he lost 5 legs we need a SHIELD, robots, fighting pants, helicopter people & lots more i want it ALL we don't need your smarm-mouth about eagle flags toast burning hhhhhrrnm pic.twitter.com/iCHxPWeSqB
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 13, 2019
The new season of True Detective really is a return to form! pic.twitter.com/c8e3ijFNpT
— official pixelated boat facebook account (@pixelatedboat) January 12, 2019
January 13
A good way to tell if an artistic idea is any good is to remember the most successful video game idea of all time is "a plumber steps on turtles" so who knows
— Joseph Fink 🐞 (@PlanetofFinks) January 13, 2019
NAH I AM CRYING 😭 pic.twitter.com/CEuNyPXDa6
— zander (@alezander) January 13, 2019
The year is 2035. Marie Kondo holds up the condemned man to the crowd. "Does this man spark joy?" The crowd jeers, "No he does not!" She nods silently and throws him into the pit.
— ☭nonessential government oils☭ (@babadookspinoza) January 13, 2019
January 14
you asked for this pic.twitter.com/fHscdYkTfh
— Kellen (@captainkalvis) January 14, 2019
<10:41pm>
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) January 14, 2019
Me: time to go to bed
Brain: or
Me: yes?
Brain: we could spend the next three hours scouring the Wikipedia entry for "List of Unusual Deaths"
Me: go on
Son of a.... pic.twitter.com/VPPhZrmYM4
— Kyle Madson (@KyleAMadson) January 15, 2019
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) January 15, 2019
LISTEN CLOSELY: "I thought it was a joke," says Clemson athlete upon learning the White House was serving him Wendy's.pic.twitter.com/bRNRhLmDBF
— Ʀogue US Mint (@RogueUSMint) January 15, 2019
This is the news photo that would make a returning time traveler realize they fucked something up pic.twitter.com/DwKe35Uicm
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) January 15, 2019
January 15
White House Staffer, choking through tears - "I... guess... we could... use the... Lincoln gravy boats... for the... Mc... the McNug... the McNugget sauces." 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/cLxJeYnBwr
— W. Kamau Bell (@wkamaubell) January 15, 2019
People were mad last week that we did an R. Kelly sketches 15 years ago. Here's me explaining comedy to them. pic.twitter.com/FQoxIALqkr
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) January 15, 2019
This is dark but amazing: a very self aware interview with @ConanOBrien
— Garry BUIDL Tan (@garrytan) January 15, 2019
FWIW he has always been funnier than every other late night show host in my book so I am glad he is free to experiment and make more awesome funny things. Straitjacket off. https://t.co/lkXzoHkjvw pic.twitter.com/M2kLO0Whdn
January 16
Cardi B just posted this on Instagram #CardiB2020 pic.twitter.com/zg4prRUfdG
— jordan (@JordanUhl) January 16, 2019
Think of how much of a laughingstock a president has to become to have *Burger King* make fun of him. Sad. https://t.co/aUBiBxQACr
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) January 16, 2019
January 17
This pigeon jamming along to blurred lines pic.twitter.com/hvV0xRDh0L
— WoW 😮 (@VERYINTERESTlNG) January 17, 2019
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
— rebrand pending (@hellakyra) January 17, 2019
January 18
"Rosa Parks arrested for violating what some say is a racist law"
— Bree Newsome Bass (@BreeNewsome) January 18, 2019
-how news agencies would write the headline today
Received some very disappointing news today pic.twitter.com/NXcBSr0DYi
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) January 18, 2019