So many photos with Ghislaine, eel love causes a lotta pain, late night reminders from your brain, a strange summary of the 2020 campaign, and much more from this week in funny tweets.&nbsp;<br>
<br>
<strong>July 4</strong>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist all walk into a bar.<br>
<br>
I'm just kidding, they know better.</p>
— Jerry Avenaim (@avenaim) <a href="https://twitter.com/avenaim/status/1279462355575771136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I pledge allegiance to the flag <a href="https://t.co/Ww65dkqtoS">pic.twitter.com/Ww65dkqtoS</a></p>
— Jules (@Julian_Epp) <a href="https://twitter.com/Julian_Epp/status/1279537925622030337?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When the jaws open wide and there's more jaws inside, that's a Moray <a href="https://t.co/piU3UtyQlh">pic.twitter.com/piU3UtyQlh</a></p>
— Alby (@AlbzSFC) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlbzSFC/status/1279553544543186947?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What COVID and Racism have in common: People don't believe they exists if they haven't been affected personally.</p>
— Ravon Justice (@CoachJustice10) <a href="https://twitter.com/CoachJustice10/status/1279413235658231811?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The only candidate for president named Kanye West in the FEC database for 2020 at the moment is a Green Party candidate named "Kanye Deez Nutz West" who's raised $0 <a href="https://t.co/jD1o6ydM5m">pic.twitter.com/jD1o6ydM5m</a></p>
— Hunter Schwarz (@hunterschwarz) <a href="https://twitter.com/hunterschwarz/status/1279587435437944832?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">no president next term, america need to b single for a while to focus on herself</p>
— j e h f (@jehfro_) <a href="https://twitter.com/jehfro_/status/1279441774684114944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Kanye's announcement is a great reminder that men look at job descriptions and think—"hey, I'm not remotely qualified, but I think I could do that." Apply for all the jobs, women.</p>
— Amber Benson (@AmberBenson) <a href="https://twitter.com/AmberBenson/status/1279602753938042880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Quit sending Xenninials and Millennials things to print at home. We don't have a printer. And if we do, we haven't found the power cord from our last move. We had been surviving on secretly using our work printers for years.</p>
— Scott Irlbacher (@ScottEarlBocker) <a href="https://twitter.com/ScottEarlBocker/status/1279403316276072448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">nearly 100 years ago <a href="https://t.co/MMpBWiSIcD">pic.twitter.com/MMpBWiSIcD</a></p>
— Mike Schuster (@mcs212) <a href="https://twitter.com/mcs212/status/1279510995652796416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>July 5</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">He ain't have to flex on us with that straight line <a href="https://t.co/SEoytdYOGj">https://t.co/SEoytdYOGj</a></p>
— ebonnie (@keystodabakery) <a href="https://twitter.com/keystodabakery/status/1279757824453750784?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">lmaoooooooo boy they bout to do it <a href="https://t.co/7LXkWbbipx">https://t.co/7LXkWbbipx</a></p>
— kony 2020 外伝 (@wspieler) <a href="https://twitter.com/wspieler/status/1279791845917298691?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Due to trumpism, Americans are banned from Canada, the EU, and South Korea. So I don't think we're going anywhere <a href="https://t.co/pz7T4xB8kW">pic.twitter.com/pz7T4xB8kW</a></p>
— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) <a href="https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1279900099603312641?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/pIpZHWlwBM">pic.twitter.com/pIpZHWlwBM</a></p>
— sophia 💅🏻 (@sophsa) <a href="https://twitter.com/sophsa/status/1279831375642800130?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the performative activism jumped out <a href="https://t.co/9rKlB61xtd">pic.twitter.com/9rKlB61xtd</a></p>
— 🕊 (@_cinnamonro11_) <a href="https://twitter.com/_cinnamonro11_/status/1279919756871491585?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Anyone shocked by these "Karen" videos has never worked a day in retail.</p>
— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) <a href="https://twitter.com/thistallawkgirl/status/1279940258919067648?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">my dad called, sighed, and said: "the tension between your mother and the local deer is getting serious."</p>
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrotiGupta/status/1279913592159006720?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">nobody:<br>
my brain at 3am: <a href="https://t.co/8aFV2hOR0R">pic.twitter.com/8aFV2hOR0R</a></p>
— Chloe Hutton (@chloehuttonv) <a href="https://twitter.com/chloehuttonv/status/1279884240382025736?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>July 6</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">How to mask <a href="https://t.co/Mm8IBTrNxd">pic.twitter.com/Mm8IBTrNxd</a></p>
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahcpr/status/1280189253637607424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I don't speak Portuguese, could someone translate this headline for me??? <a href="https://t.co/aOXRjsmTUR">https://t.co/aOXRjsmTUR</a></p>
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1280311438255349761?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if I die after I pay my rent, sit me on the couch till da 30th</p>
— c mo 💲 (@Cxlby_) <a href="https://twitter.com/Cxlby_/status/1280040821807624197?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The 2020 campaign so far:<br>
<br>
Trump: I'm racist. Vote for me!<br>
Voters: No thanks. Also, Biden might keep us from dying.<br>
Trump: But I'm really, really racist! You have to vote for me!</p>
— Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) <a href="https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/1280223642278858754?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why are there so many pics of them together <a href="https://t.co/PFVefUAgI6">pic.twitter.com/PFVefUAgI6</a></p>
— queen of the rodeo (@madisonegar) <a href="https://twitter.com/madisonegar/status/1280220464992997379?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Harry Potter had a massive amount of inherited wealth, never redistributed it to his ridiculously poor friend's family, and then became a magic cop.</p>
— Carly Rae Jihad (@saintknives) <a href="https://twitter.com/saintknives/status/1280357053693931520?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>July 7</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I hate that the Jeopardy announcer has to say your whole job title during the intros <a href="https://t.co/9jjGxaM8gA">pic.twitter.com/9jjGxaM8gA</a></p>
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) <a href="https://twitter.com/matt_obrien/status/1280539671437758476?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Friendly reminder that phase 3 doesn't mean it's safer to go to the movies or get your nails done than it was in march, it just means that both the state and federal government don't care if you die doing it</p>
— Caroline Moss (@CarolineMoss) <a href="https://twitter.com/CarolineMoss/status/1280654898531459073?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">craig <a href="https://t.co/rWOkhwfoib">pic.twitter.com/rWOkhwfoib</a></p>
— stehp (@celinedion69) <a href="https://twitter.com/celinedion69/status/1280580681110872065?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">BLM failed to consider <a href="https://t.co/lO2bKRgnu8">pic.twitter.com/lO2bKRgnu8</a></p>
— Kayla 💛 (@kobcritic_) <a href="https://twitter.com/kobcritic_/status/1280544171334524928?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="fr" dir="ltr">2 Months Vs. 7 months <a href="https://t.co/Udgr277WVO">pic.twitter.com/Udgr277WVO</a></p>
— DRE D'USSÈ 😈 (@_ThatGuyFuller) <a href="https://twitter.com/_ThatGuyFuller/status/1280678861068480512?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i know the show is called "unsolved mysteries" but it sucks how they don't solve the mysteries</p>
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) <a href="https://twitter.com/JessicaKRoy/status/1280602462857150465?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>July 8</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">They just wanted to steal a car, but they ended up... stealing each others hearts. This summer, Jim Carrey and Jenna Fischer get a crash course in love. "Jacked and Jill" - It's a fender bender to remember. <a href="https://t.co/U4EVr6WFRz">https://t.co/U4EVr6WFRz</a></p>
— karms (@IanKarmel) <a href="https://twitter.com/IanKarmel/status/1280871505438507008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ban Viagra. If pregnancy is God's will, so is limp dick.</p>
— Angela Belcamino (@AngelaBelcamino) <a href="https://twitter.com/AngelaBelcamino/status/1280892277771177984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Wonder why <a href="https://twitter.com/ProjectLincoln?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@ProjectLincoln</a>'s video guy Ben Howe deleted these posts 🤔 <a href="https://t.co/b6J5yQqP4T">pic.twitter.com/b6J5yQqP4T</a></p>
— Nathan Bernard (@nathanTbernard) <a href="https://twitter.com/nathanTbernard/status/1281012495428325377?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if people today were on the titanic <a href="https://t.co/7Lu3zKDgQ9">pic.twitter.com/7Lu3zKDgQ9</a></p>
— Matt Buechele (@mattbooshell) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattbooshell/status/1280933495674732544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">why do people say "keep up the good work" i already did the good work and now i would like to stop</p>
— Isha Patnaik (@ishapatnaik) <a href="https://twitter.com/ishapatnaik/status/1280985486962524160?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>July 9</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">BREAKING: Walking Eagle News has learned that Global News has learned that CTV News has learned that CBC News has learned that Canadaland is reporting something</p>
— Walking Eagle News (@TheEagleist) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheEagleist/status/1281356101330575365?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 9, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If a black person tells you "You picked the right one today." You in fact, did NOT pick the right one today.</p>
— Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi (@roywoodjr) <a href="https://twitter.com/roywoodjr/status/1281246514245926913?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 9, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Folks, I did it. I have found the most Twitter reply of all time. <a href="https://t.co/5dEDPmt249">pic.twitter.com/5dEDPmt249</a></p>
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) <a href="https://twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status/1281257699016159233?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 9, 2020</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

Vish Khanna

Funny tweets The Shining Ghislaine Maxwell

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: July 10, 2020

Latest Coverage