Let's beat what now, a dummy orders cheese-less chow, an Alexa reminder about a plow, what schools do and don't allow, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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July 10
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hi dipshit, I'm a pediatric ER doctor who has treated children who have <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/COVID__19?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#COVID__19</a> <a href="https://t.co/wNUQpQHbRx">https://t.co/wNUQpQHbRx</a></p>
— Lydia Holm MD (@MommyFourBoys) <a href="https://twitter.com/MommyFourBoys/status/1281746162794586113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">127 hours but when he finally cuts his arm it's a cake</p>
— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) <a href="https://twitter.com/spinubzilla/status/1281806182404042753?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My new favourite thing is this guy's shutter shaming hobby <a href="https://t.co/BtQtWYjK27">pic.twitter.com/BtQtWYjK27</a></p>
— Connor (@Yogalnstructor) <a href="https://twitter.com/Yogalnstructor/status/1281756223411417088?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 11<br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Disney World just reopened and we already lost Goofy. <a href="https://t.co/CggOsFli93">pic.twitter.com/CggOsFli93</a></p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1282014142535217152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">90% of the coronavirus debate now is about trying to find ways around the fact that the obvious solution is to pay people to stay home until there's a vaccine.</p>
— Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) <a href="https://twitter.com/BFriedmanDC/status/1282016746896068610?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This feels illegal <a href="https://t.co/CUab7jtbBR">pic.twitter.com/CUab7jtbBR</a></p>
— Ishaan (@ReallyIshaan) <a href="https://twitter.com/ReallyIshaan/status/1282120339133042688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A friendly reminder that THIS is a TV spot that was edited and shown <a href="https://t.co/AmzeedSEor">pic.twitter.com/AmzeedSEor</a></p>
— Haydn (@Haydn_E99) <a href="https://twitter.com/Haydn_E99/status/1282096295608569861?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 11, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">these tiktokers may just save us from this asshole <a href="https://t.co/ADKoq59ReV">pic.twitter.com/ADKoq59ReV</a></p>
— Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) <a href="https://twitter.com/AdamParkhomenko/status/1282171931987513344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 12
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Wizard of Oz is actually about Twitter with a strawman, bot and coward following a lady around everywhere.</p>
— Alex Leo (@AlexMLeo) <a href="https://twitter.com/AlexMLeo/status/1282353898230095873?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">why I won't wear a mask <a href="https://t.co/CyiKIgWuwF">pic.twitter.com/CyiKIgWuwF</a></p>
— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) <a href="https://twitter.com/deadeyebrakeman/status/1282376398242410496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me eating my best friends when I discover they're all made of cake. <a href="https://t.co/9d6Rlsrvks">pic.twitter.com/9d6Rlsrvks</a></p>
— ScubaCheeze⍟⃝ (@scubacheeze) <a href="https://twitter.com/scubacheeze/status/1282380974769266689?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 12, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 13
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If there's a more consistent red flag than a man who refers to women as "females" I do not know it</p>
— mattie kahn (@mattiekahn) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattiekahn/status/1282846389995810817?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">So puzzled that schools can't regulate if students wear a mask but can measure shirt hems, adjudicate whether a top is sleeveless, and judge what is acceptable hair color.</p>
— Lisa Janicke Hinchliffe (@lisalibrarian) <a href="https://twitter.com/lisalibrarian/status/1282878221617377280?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 14
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just delivered Grubhub to this customer, and now I see why Coronavirus is kicking our ass <a href="https://t.co/sPZTNIyteG">pic.twitter.com/sPZTNIyteG</a></p>
— decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) <a href="https://twitter.com/decentbirthday/status/1283114112541753346?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Lmao they're having the school board meeting over zoom because it isn't safe to meet in person TO DISCUSS HOW THEYRE GONNA SEND THOUSANDS OF KIDS BACK TO SCHOOL</p>
— Herbo (@ManLikeGinola) <a href="https://twitter.com/ManLikeGinola/status/1283146243879907335?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. <a href="https://t.co/OEqnR1McJ6">pic.twitter.com/OEqnR1McJ6</a></p>
— Tenessa Gemelke (@gemelket) <a href="https://twitter.com/gemelket/status/1283170929984634880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the one thing that was supposed to be a cake im goin insane <a href="https://t.co/KHs8TaTmTN">https://t.co/KHs8TaTmTN</a></p>
— nev🪐 (@PettygroveNevin) <a href="https://twitter.com/PettygroveNevin/status/1283119861002981376?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 14, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 15
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you don't want to own an absolutely horrifying set of bowls, avoid breaking the "for ice cream" one. <a href="https://t.co/k2gig2ZuLC">pic.twitter.com/k2gig2ZuLC</a></p>
— Blake Wexler (@BlakeWexler) <a href="https://twitter.com/BlakeWexler/status/1283409614835417090?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why is dental and vision insurance separate from regular health insurance? Are my teeth and eyes not a part of my body????</p>
— 🍒 (@ATheGreat__) <a href="https://twitter.com/ATheGreat__/status/1283443553386074113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">another day of my dad forgetting our amazon accounts are linked ... <a href="https://t.co/LulrbXR8hK">pic.twitter.com/LulrbXR8hK</a></p>
— Gerri 🌙 (@cherhorowiz) <a href="https://twitter.com/cherhorowiz/status/1283582902853394432?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 16, 2020</a></blockquote>
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July 16
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">relationship goals <a href="https://t.co/VBuJgFdcMu">pic.twitter.com/VBuJgFdcMu</a></p>
— all chris's are beautiful (@ChrisCaesar) <a href="https://twitter.com/ChrisCaesar/status/1283906619013828610?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 16, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I'm fucking howling <a href="https://t.co/YmN1ms6YFt">pic.twitter.com/YmN1ms6YFt</a></p>
— the thicc husband &amp; father (@lukeisamazing) <a href="https://twitter.com/lukeisamazing/status/1283830215458914304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 16, 2020</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Let's what now <a href="https://t.co/8MsGIG1Sl8">pic.twitter.com/8MsGIG1Sl8</a></p>
— Orville Shrek (@amcnal) <a href="https://twitter.com/amcnal/status/1283905375696228352?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 16, 2020</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: July 17, 2020

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