Shawarma Playmobil (real), why are birds suddenly revealed, Paul Rudd concealed, done with the half pipe feel, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<b>July 2</b>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">when someone tickles you <a href="https://t.co/pRw2kTAcx0">pic.twitter.com/pRw2kTAcx0</a></p>
— Amy (@amyis_trying) <a href="https://twitter.com/amyis_trying/status/1411091135640969216?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i'm never going there ever again <a href="https://t.co/nt8OxCl33P">https://t.co/nt8OxCl33P</a> <a href="https://t.co/fNca9XS0vl">pic.twitter.com/fNca9XS0vl</a></p>
— zeezo (@blasiansomali) <a href="https://twitter.com/blasiansomali/status/1411093032326283265?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">boss baby is streaming now <a href="https://t.co/kJPER0IhcZ">pic.twitter.com/kJPER0IhcZ</a></p>
— audrey bowler (@aud_bowler) <a href="https://twitter.com/aud_bowler/status/1410963545483788299?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="in" dir="ltr">Memento (2000) <a href="https://t.co/SK80W6Gxlm">pic.twitter.com/SK80W6Gxlm</a></p>
— Eric Cunningham (@EricCunningham) <a href="https://twitter.com/EricCunningham/status/1411136868628922370?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Not in 1 million years will you correctly guess what this reply is in response to. <a href="https://t.co/L5yF2aYLI4">https://t.co/L5yF2aYLI4</a></p>
— Catestrophe (@Cate__Johnson) <a href="https://twitter.com/Cate__Johnson/status/1410976041594675207?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Finally <a href="https://t.co/6d2orAyZS3">pic.twitter.com/6d2orAyZS3</a></p>
— 𝑫𝑶𝑹𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑨 𝑷𝑨𝑨𝑺 (@ddoorroo) <a href="https://twitter.com/ddoorroo/status/1410983094677610504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Half the trees in Canada just got lit on fire by a global warming-induced heatstorm and hardly anybody is talking about it because an oil company set the ocean on fire and the only person who got in trouble for lighting up is Sha'Carri Richardson?</p>
— Richard Barney Gimmick Account (@rkbarney) <a href="https://twitter.com/rkbarney/status/1411122964016160768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 3 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="tl" dir="ltr">daily marijuana user <a href="https://t.co/EkCY5JSPqy">pic.twitter.com/EkCY5JSPqy</a></p>
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) <a href="https://twitter.com/blainecapatch/status/1411374303556247559?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I relate to CBD because I too am expensive and don't do anything</p>
— Rachel McCartney (@RachelMComedy) <a href="https://twitter.com/RachelMComedy/status/1411480738822754304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">big news for annoying people! <a href="https://t.co/RkJRUS0SSR">https://t.co/RkJRUS0SSR</a></p>
— stevie (@abbafag) <a href="https://twitter.com/abbafag/status/1411469206172930048?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">jury duty is a wild concept. whenever the government wants, they can just be like "call off work bestie, we need you to solve a murder 🥰 here's fifteen dollars."</p>
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MNateShyamalan/status/1411439028260454409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 3, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 4 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Whoa. I guess one dude quit: <a href="https://t.co/zl23f5RNo4">pic.twitter.com/zl23f5RNo4</a></p>
— JustynTyme (@JustynTyme_) <a href="https://twitter.com/JustynTyme_/status/1411887817307963395?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Bezo is stepping aside at Amazon, who will give detailed comedy notes on our kith series?</p>
— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrucioMcCulloch/status/1411685280558555144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"How come Americans write the month first?"<br>
"That's how you say it, month first"<br>
"What's the date today?"<br>
"It's the fourth of July"</p>
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) <a href="https://twitter.com/ItsAndyRyan/status/1411603864781049859?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Can't believe they made a covid firework <a href="https://t.co/PfHMsCsl0a">pic.twitter.com/PfHMsCsl0a</a></p>
— Pete Stegemeyer (@itspeterj) <a href="https://twitter.com/itspeterj/status/1411867179860045824?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Fireworks must've been buy 1 get 100,000 free this year because ain't no way</p>
— Leo 🦅 (@hoeglizzy) <a href="https://twitter.com/hoeglizzy/status/1411856322946076674?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 5 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Fireworks are meant to exist briefly and disappear. When you post a picture of a firework you are undermining the artist's ephemeral vision (1/85)</p>
— Vinny Thomas ¡ (@vinn_ayy) <a href="https://twitter.com/vinn_ayy/status/1412084280382066696?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Once I was in the spa in a hotel in Vegas getting a massage. When I finished I turned over and to my shock Paul Rudd was massaging me. He saw me go in and convinced the masseuse to let him take over, thinking I'd notice immediately. I didn't, and Paul did the entire rest of it.</p>
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) <a href="https://twitter.com/Sethrogen/status/1412145835228340225?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The Onion 10 years ago, and AP today<br>
<br>
Ten. Fucking. Years. <a href="https://t.co/ykEkrRXUbs">pic.twitter.com/ykEkrRXUbs</a></p>
— PanickedJanet (@SIGSYS) <a href="https://twitter.com/SIGSYS/status/1412278516515852288?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">boutta send this cashier to the shadow realm <a href="https://t.co/ZHcwQMfA86">pic.twitter.com/ZHcwQMfA86</a></p>
— Dr. Nicolette, Himbologist ⋆ (@nicoletters) <a href="https://twitter.com/nicoletters/status/1412163914201063424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/Y94fQcymTj">pic.twitter.com/Y94fQcymTj</a></p>
— NBA (@Dwaynebo_) <a href="https://twitter.com/Dwaynebo_/status/1412114495061696539?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Shawarma Playmobil (real) <a href="https://t.co/00EEEBu62q">pic.twitter.com/00EEEBu62q</a></p>
— LeRoi, HSDIP-AP (High School Diploma w AP credits) (@RoiRoiDame) <a href="https://twitter.com/RoiRoiDame/status/1412219795899047938?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 6 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"a fast paced environment" means the job is actually 3-5 jobs</p>
— Amy (@amyis_trying) <a href="https://twitter.com/amyis_trying/status/1412532318900678656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">walking into my bedroom like fuck who closed last night</p>
— ✩‧₊*• paige •*₊‧✩ (@peachhpunchh) <a href="https://twitter.com/peachhpunchh/status/1412509242557337603?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Nothing revs me up quicker than a friend texting "can I be a bitch for a second"</p>
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) <a href="https://twitter.com/bananafitz/status/1412476675850485762?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What's the dumbest beliefs you had as a child?<br>
<br>
When I was 4-5 I swore that bird seeds grew birds, thus the name. When my parents asked me to prove it to them, I planted a pile of bird seeds.<br>
<br>
The next day there were loads of birds where I planted the seeds, showing I was right.</p>
— _grimm (@ExileGrimm) <a href="https://twitter.com/ExileGrimm/status/1412448161688215553?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">AD AGENCY: What if our campaign was a fun riff on the idea of ejaculating semen?<br>
CLIENT: I love it! <a href="https://t.co/tgcIEnsT6e">pic.twitter.com/tgcIEnsT6e</a></p>
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) <a href="https://twitter.com/mbalazo/status/1412524980622004225?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 7 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">there should be a post-pandemic full service doctor where you just lie down for a three hour appointment and five people swarm around and fix you like a race car</p>
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahclazarus/status/1412953317387292676?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">the airport boldly asks "what if the worst sandwich you'd ever had was $16.95"</p>
— rachel (@rchlmars) <a href="https://twitter.com/rchlmars/status/1412906695429431298?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Employers: We can't find anyone to work for us🥺<br>
Americans: Will you pay us more?<br>
Employers: No! Also, write us a custom letter about why working for us would be your life's passion hehe:)</p>
— Brittany Van Horne (@_brittanyv) <a href="https://twitter.com/_brittanyv/status/1412907073587662849?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">asked my dad who he's rooting for and he responded "everything bad that's ever happened in this world is because of england" without looking up</p>
— dayana (@dsarkisova) <a href="https://twitter.com/dsarkisova/status/1412882506349781004?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<b>July 8 </b>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">[me getting in the back of an ambulance] hi, for isabel?</p>
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) <a href="https://twitter.com/IsabelSteckel/status/1413160725376344067?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Are you mad at the world or are you just dehydrated? A documentary.</p>
— Dena Jackson (@Denatalks) <a href="https://twitter.com/Denatalks/status/1413151465997103106?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/1ioOHS1uwa">https://t.co/1ioOHS1uwa</a> <a href="https://t.co/7NMhr1KeMm">pic.twitter.com/7NMhr1KeMm</a></p>
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) <a href="https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/1413166039987363840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Breaking Bass <a href="https://t.co/4mSjVy8ELg">https://t.co/4mSjVy8ELg</a></p>
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) <a href="https://twitter.com/MattOswaltVA/status/1413177402901995523?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: July 9, 2021

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