It's time for an ice cream cone, sex ghost by a tombstone, total eclipse of the phone, job interview question groan, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>June 4</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/iZPyfI0GFI">pic.twitter.com/iZPyfI0GFI</a></p>
— rp (@sleepydisease) <a href="https://twitter.com/sleepydisease/status/1400980033364185089?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">name three songs <a href="https://t.co/jr0nHmvQlt">pic.twitter.com/jr0nHmvQlt</a></p>
— hugo gonzalez (@hag7447) <a href="https://twitter.com/hag7447/status/1400953081311875072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/gtTezMYYws">pic.twitter.com/gtTezMYYws</a></p>
— Finessa Fudges (@FinessaFudges) <a href="https://twitter.com/FinessaFudges/status/1401013688056832006?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">happy pride everyone 😌🙏 <a href="https://t.co/V5QdFW33a7">pic.twitter.com/V5QdFW33a7</a></p>
— The Soviet Onion™, Malewife Appreciator (@ASovietOnion) <a href="https://twitter.com/ASovietOnion/status/1400712824905687042?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">underrated clickhole quote <a href="https://t.co/CoQgK8HxOo">pic.twitter.com/CoQgK8HxOo</a></p>
— dylan (@dylmdav) <a href="https://twitter.com/dylmdav/status/1401018411547758594?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 5</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">As an actor it's always tough to watch shows you auditioned for and didn't get, but kudos to David for landing this one <a href="https://t.co/KeIBO7K4qC">pic.twitter.com/KeIBO7K4qC</a></p>
— Alex "Little Nut" Dobrenko (@Dobrenkz) <a href="https://twitter.com/Dobrenkz/status/1401194540485152770?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">getting back into the nightlife swing <a href="https://t.co/0uEl6dWmCe">pic.twitter.com/0uEl6dWmCe</a></p>
— Half-Shirt Radical (@EricShethar) <a href="https://twitter.com/EricShethar/status/1401196455700975623?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When my sister and I were little kids we had to put on a performance for my Grandparent's 40th anniversary. It was cute, we sang songs and said old jokes. All these nice old people were laughing and clapping. Anyways most Canadian comedy really reminds me of that</p>
— Chris (@chrislockeworld) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrislockeworld/status/1401210681052086279?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"Sadistica and I have come up with a most ingenious plan, Mr. Bond. Would you like to hear it?" <a href="https://t.co/rK0bDA8aB8">pic.twitter.com/rK0bDA8aB8</a></p>
— Dana Gould (@danagould) <a href="https://twitter.com/danagould/status/1401215091102478337?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 6</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">So you're telling me a 10 yo found out he was a wizard millionaire and still went to school to become a cop</p>
— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) <a href="https://twitter.com/solomongeorgio/status/1401747304210571272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Is this man alive ? <a href="https://t.co/f5nPl4IwLT">pic.twitter.com/f5nPl4IwLT</a></p>
— Eric Wynalda (@EricWynalda) <a href="https://twitter.com/EricWynalda/status/1401745207071105030?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Looks like shit. Only a rich asshole disconnected from reality would want a black doom pit in their backyard <a href="https://t.co/zyyjLxFrlj">pic.twitter.com/zyyjLxFrlj</a></p>
— Air America's "most improved" pilot Sept. 2019 (@USA_Comrade) <a href="https://twitter.com/USA_Comrade/status/1401566942138441735?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I called the number and debated this baby for an hour <a href="https://t.co/5REBYAY6yL">pic.twitter.com/5REBYAY6yL</a></p>
— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) <a href="https://twitter.com/MohanadElshieky/status/1401583698533834756?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 6, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 7</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"the book was better than the movie" no you just have a beautiful and limitless imagination, fucking idiot</p>
— ye 🌍 (@yedoye_) <a href="https://twitter.com/yedoye_/status/1402067268377382914?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">When a person I'm dating calls me their "partner", it's because I'm on the board of Fuckin n Suckin LLC</p>
— Rachele Friedland (@Rachele_F) <a href="https://twitter.com/Rachele_F/status/1402108149461442562?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">In my defence, I tried to reduce the amount of Brits by having most of them eaten in the movie. <a href="https://t.co/Zia2ZL0VJp">pic.twitter.com/Zia2ZL0VJp</a></p>
— edgarwright (@edgarwright) <a href="https://twitter.com/edgarwright/status/1402033082044235777?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Early in the day to witness a murder, but here we are <a href="https://t.co/apHxa4zhwG">pic.twitter.com/apHxa4zhwG</a></p>
— Louisa 🌈👭 (@LouisatheLast) <a href="https://twitter.com/LouisatheLast/status/1401895065866342401?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My 5 yo niece downloaded this game and I looked over and started watching. She went through 9 levels and at the end had to deliver a baby via c-section. Keep in mind neither of us had any idea what the game was about at first or what it was called until the very end <a href="https://t.co/g8gCnICce1">pic.twitter.com/g8gCnICce1</a></p>
— Sara Schaefer (@saraschaefer1) <a href="https://twitter.com/saraschaefer1/status/1402031882636775425?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what is my body supposed to look like........................ <a href="https://t.co/8Eo1fgRSxY">pic.twitter.com/8Eo1fgRSxY</a></p>
— alanna (@alanna) <a href="https://twitter.com/alanna/status/1402016237962551304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">my brain at 8:30 pm every single night during the summer <a href="https://t.co/Ychfl8KLcJ">pic.twitter.com/Ychfl8KLcJ</a></p>
— gabbi "gabbi boyd" boyd (@GabbiBoyd) <a href="https://twitter.com/GabbiBoyd/status/1401920013859233794?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 8</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I don't want to alarm anyone, but I've just been asked in a job interview if I used lockdown "to pursue any passion projects or personal development."</p>
— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) <a href="https://twitter.com/Mr_Considerate/status/1402245120070664193?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/UCcvmRZiCn">pic.twitter.com/UCcvmRZiCn</a></p>
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) <a href="https://twitter.com/NoContextBrits/status/1402391626723569664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">one time i was gonna have sex with this dude after a concert and we went to shower off and i did this naked little jig and went "its time to warsh me holes" and he made me go home</p>
— 𝓒𝓸𝓸𝓵𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 (@coolandonline) <a href="https://twitter.com/coolandonline/status/1402500879161303042?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">summer goals <a href="https://t.co/yaLDa2yj5D">pic.twitter.com/yaLDa2yj5D</a></p>
— j̴̢͘҉i̸̢͞z̛̛̀҉͞z̡͞w̶̵̢͜͞i̡͘t̸͝͝c̸͝h̀͏ (@fingerbIaster) <a href="https://twitter.com/fingerbIaster/status/1402477144656121864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"if I can play devils advocate for a second" bro just let me talk to the devil himself u are sooo annoying</p>
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) <a href="https://twitter.com/bocxtop/status/1402292838478475275?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/2Berln4BqG">pic.twitter.com/2Berln4BqG</a></p>
— 𝔏𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 (@InsaneMistress) <a href="https://twitter.com/InsaneMistress/status/1402304311095218192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 9</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">just found out my mom's been bulk buying a specific yogurt cause I did a commercial for them &amp; i don't have the heart to tell her that's not how the residuals work 😭</p>
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) <a href="https://twitter.com/AtsukoComedy/status/1402836160477421570?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I was enjoying a peaceful stroll through town until this disgusting rainbow reared it's grotesque face. <a href="https://t.co/02zVUpWjxN">pic.twitter.com/02zVUpWjxN</a></p>
— Jon Dore (@TVsJonDore) <a href="https://twitter.com/TVsJonDore/status/1402855197538283521?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">adele was right. hello</p>
— dvd 📀 (@disxpic) <a href="https://twitter.com/disxpic/status/1402701374165553155?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">why are there a million songs about some jerk breaking your heart but only one song about a sickass lobster who rules</p>
— rax 'preorder TACKY 💋' king (@RaxKingIsDead) <a href="https://twitter.com/RaxKingIsDead/status/1402701549445472265?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 9, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br>
<strong>June 10</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Notifications are blowing up.<br>
*checks news*<br>
Ah. There's an eclipse</p>
— Bonnie Tyler (@BonnieTOfficial) <a href="https://twitter.com/BonnieTOfficial/status/1402940859193114625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">hey, that's the owner of the paper <a href="https://t.co/YfR7pmjuqC">pic.twitter.com/YfR7pmjuqC</a></p>
— ted lasso disciple (@singlepayertom) <a href="https://twitter.com/singlepayertom/status/1403099938154717184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">What makes biking dangerous is all the cars. What makes the bus so slow is all the cars. What makes it so everything is too far away to walk is all the space we have to reserve for the cars.</p>
— Adam Kotsko (@adamkotsko) <a href="https://twitter.com/adamkotsko/status/1402998838554628103?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Date an older guy they said <a href="https://t.co/9liLAQZ5ae">pic.twitter.com/9liLAQZ5ae</a></p>
— carolyn (@ballerguy) <a href="https://twitter.com/ballerguy/status/1402967673353420801?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">when I leave the Zoom and my smile disappears I do feel like a serial killer</p>
— JP (@jpbrammer) <a href="https://twitter.com/jpbrammer/status/1403057320737873925?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Absolutely a facial expression that says "I am returning after my Zoom call masturbation scandal." <a href="https://t.co/HYe6pdae4m">https://t.co/HYe6pdae4m</a></p>
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) <a href="https://twitter.com/PFTompkins/status/1403118334002880515?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 10, 2021</a></blockquote>
<script src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>

Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 11, 2021

Latest Coverage