No vaping except service dogs, sheltered by microblogs, Batman's not into vagina monologues, cars eaten by bogs, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
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<strong>June 11</strong>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">NOOO LORDE WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING ON THE BEACH LOOK OUT FOR THE PRODIGY CRAB NOOOO <a href="https://t.co/r7wjcpKH9k">pic.twitter.com/r7wjcpKH9k</a></p>
— Ⓜ️💲 (@marksnotnice) <a href="https://twitter.com/marksnotnice/status/1403379312674365442?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Sheltered twitter opinions vs reality <a href="https://t.co/Q8SvIeIiPO">pic.twitter.com/Q8SvIeIiPO</a></p>
— S🏀ham (@SohamGadre) <a href="https://twitter.com/SohamGadre/status/1403530461633187843?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Toronto celebrating the end of lockdown by immediately standing for hours in blocks-long lineups for Winners and Dollarama is deeply on brand</p>
— amil (@amil) <a href="https://twitter.com/amil/status/1403359019918561281?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">He's fighting for his life in there <a href="https://t.co/cDS6i8FZIq">https://t.co/cDS6i8FZIq</a></p>
— Vaxx B (@king_james019) <a href="https://twitter.com/king_james019/status/1403346167698800645?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/8cDIV5KAtW">pic.twitter.com/8cDIV5KAtW</a></p>
— ~ (@sernique_) <a href="https://twitter.com/sernique_/status/1403283681670742017?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 11, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 12</strong>

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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/easyBsU5eF">pic.twitter.com/easyBsU5eF</a></p>
— Alex Lewis (@lewisalex10) <a href="https://twitter.com/lewisalex10/status/1403916792985272326?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Minimalism has gone TOO FAR <a href="https://t.co/YpABAgDNRo">pic.twitter.com/YpABAgDNRo</a></p>
— K***** (@internetkendra) <a href="https://twitter.com/internetkendra/status/1403747669273612295?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">a true wordsmith <a href="https://t.co/8quJCAmUzq">pic.twitter.com/8quJCAmUzq</a></p>
— moike (@lilMoike) <a href="https://twitter.com/lilMoike/status/1403708384185044994?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 12, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/cqEgvNZY0z">pic.twitter.com/cqEgvNZY0z</a></p>
— Danny Neary (@itsdannyneary) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsdannyneary/status/1403890598667505665?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/1WaROxgEP6">pic.twitter.com/1WaROxgEP6</a></p>
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) <a href="https://twitter.com/ben_rosen/status/1403897169195585539?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 13</strong>

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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">So unfair that noon is the only time that gets a nickname. Gonna start calling 4pm Bonky</p>
— music's profile (@goodjobmaya) <a href="https://twitter.com/goodjobmaya/status/1404294095502249987?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Brid <a href="https://t.co/FoIM7NACqd">pic.twitter.com/FoIM7NACqd</a></p>
— Fully Vaxxed Sloth (@SeattleSloth_) <a href="https://twitter.com/SeattleSloth_/status/1404137407566524416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if you walked over to where your car was parked and it's gone plus there's a big hole in the ground would you assume the car was in the hole? i don't think i would <a href="https://t.co/CIpnHq5c0d">https://t.co/CIpnHq5c0d</a></p>
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) <a href="https://twitter.com/BrandyLJensen/status/1404218179476393987?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">This family has a daughter and a submissive guy <a href="https://t.co/nOdvvYuUDu">pic.twitter.com/nOdvvYuUDu</a></p>
— Karli Marulli (@VeryFineHat) <a href="https://twitter.com/VeryFineHat/status/1404220740132655109?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Sorry liberals there are only two genders <a href="https://t.co/q0hVa8zEWB">pic.twitter.com/q0hVa8zEWB</a></p>
— Cressa Maeve Beer (@beeragon) <a href="https://twitter.com/beeragon/status/1404121403092312066?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 13, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 14</strong>

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<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/TLnA2sCcwY">pic.twitter.com/TLnA2sCcwY</a></p>
— Funny Replies (@FunniestReplies) <a href="https://twitter.com/FunniestReplies/status/1404598834580295681?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Texted my dad about Batman scandal <a href="https://t.co/uipXLTcSVk">pic.twitter.com/uipXLTcSVk</a></p>
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) <a href="https://twitter.com/atdanwhite/status/1404653021959757826?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Why would Batman's whole bottom face be open if he didn't do oral, ridiculous</p>
— rb (@RheaButcher) <a href="https://twitter.com/RheaButcher/status/1404562881648095236?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="es" dir="ltr">a tragic hero <a href="https://t.co/Qxtevn3Hwq">pic.twitter.com/Qxtevn3Hwq</a></p>
— 🗯 (@samthielman) <a href="https://twitter.com/samthielman/status/1404636449979482113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Meanwhile Spider-Man is up for anything. <a href="https://t.co/6VMYKMcBKR">pic.twitter.com/6VMYKMcBKR</a></p>
— Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) <a href="https://twitter.com/BenjaminJS/status/1404550383586840576?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 14, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 15</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">America: we're re-opening! Yay!<br>
<br>
Me: I'm still pretty traumatized haha like you messed a lot of us up financially, and socially, and physically?<br>
<br>
America: but it's over!! Yay<br>
<br>
Me: ok but I'm still not ok on any level so like<br>
<br>
America: WE🎉ARE🎉REOPENING🎉</p>
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) <a href="https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore/status/1404812461199536128?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">deleting dating apps to meet someone the old fashioned way (long spaghetti noodle)</p>
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) <a href="https://twitter.com/MNateShyamalan/status/1404994117818593284?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Soup of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, soup of the night.</p>
— Bewg (@bewgtweets) <a href="https://twitter.com/bewgtweets/status/1404886182023028736?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I'm in Microsoft Excel fighting for my fucking life</p>
— sultan (@sultangelo) <a href="https://twitter.com/sultangelo/status/1404830957367136262?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 15, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 16</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">NEED SOMEONE TO FILM AN ONLYFANS VID WITH ME:<br>
<br>
You pretend to be a mover helping me get my things from one apartment to the other. I wear a tiny sundress and you don't touch me you just move my things. This does not pay</p>
— big honkin caboose (@itsmegangraves) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsmegangraves/status/1405183126087872513?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">what is the deal with the boasting about how little sleep u get<br>
<br>
get some fuckin sleep</p>
— darth™ (@darth) <a href="https://twitter.com/darth/status/1405341531112808449?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">They'll make Juneteeth a holiday but won't tell the South until 3 years later.</p>
— Janelle James , moody clown. (@janellejcomedy) <a href="https://twitter.com/janellejcomedy/status/1405257616591310848?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I think only Black people should get Juneteenth off work. Half Black people can leave at lunch. Quarter Black people can leave work an hour early. If you are part Black, but less than a quarter, you're working all day but someone will save you a plate.</p>
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) <a href="https://twitter.com/ashleyn1cole/status/1405361957406871558?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">as is their right <a href="https://t.co/LcoYxP6ten">pic.twitter.com/LcoYxP6ten</a></p>
— Spooky (@SpookyCandle) <a href="https://twitter.com/SpookyCandle/status/1405247685595123718?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 16, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>June 17</strong>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Businesses trying to get their workers back after Covid <a href="https://t.co/dnhpT8u2uW">pic.twitter.com/dnhpT8u2uW</a></p>
— Danny Neary (@itsdannyneary) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsdannyneary/status/1405564006501392385?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Got an email from Canada Post saying I had a message on "epost"<br>
<br>
I don't remember ever signing up for epost but I guess I did so I had to reset my username and password and everything to access epost<br>
<br>
When I finally got logged in the message was that they're shutting down epost</p>
— Jon Blair (@okjonblair) <a href="https://twitter.com/okjonblair/status/1405656771260301314?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Heard a guy say "oh my word, bro" yesterday and haven't stopped thinking about it since</p>
— honest jabe (@jaynooch) <a href="https://twitter.com/jaynooch/status/1405598216096190469?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 17, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: June 18, 2021

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