November 11
I have a chrome extension that makes all of trump's tweets seem like they were written in crayon. This one is just a little too real for my taste. pic.twitter.com/XOstjKKKy3
— sanjana (@riseuphes) November 12, 2017
I just got a man kicked out of the bar for slapping my ass. I have never seen a man so appalled and confused for seeing a woman stick up for herself. Happy 2017 bitch, get the fuck out
— Haley (@haleyhuebner12) November 12, 2017
Tiffany Haddish is making history hosting SNL but Taylor Swift is the musical guest. It's like eating a delicious plate of mac & cheese and halfway through finding out some asshole mixed in some Kraft.
— Faith Choyce (@faithchoyce) November 12, 2017
As seen just now on Peachtree Street... pic.twitter.com/N2UOXfaTsP
— Rosalind Bentley (@RozRBentley) November 11, 2017
November 12
Does @realDonaldTrump realize that now TWICE on this disastrous trip, they've just straight up trolled him with vintage @HillaryClinton suits? #LikeThePresidencyHeCantQuiteMakeItWork pic.twitter.com/i2BDvjp7gH
— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) November 12, 2017
Just bought 3 keurigs and I'm going to smash them all in the street tonight!! They don't deserve our business! You rock Sean!
— michael (@dogboner) November 13, 2017
Sorry, I was off Twitter for a while - it appears that people are destroying coffee machines to show their support of child molesters?
— Geraldine (@everywhereist) November 13, 2017
At one of her meet and greets, Taylor Swift met a young boy who complimented her writing. He went on to say that he also wanted to be a writer, but his friends bullied him for it. Taylor made him promise to ignore them and follow his dreams.
— getaway car gay (@gayIorswift13) November 13, 2017
That boy's name? William Shakespeare.
November 13
stop naming your babies James. name him Jame. he is one Jame.
— kelly johnson from wisconsin (@ohheyohhihello) November 13, 2017
I went to an improv show. They asked for a suggestion. I said, "don't do improv!"
— Bruce McCulloch (@BrucioMcCulloch) November 14, 2017
Wow, Dick's is pulling its ads from Hannity, everyone run outside and smash your dick with a hammer to own the libs.
— mike mulloy (@fakemikemulloy) November 13, 2017
The biggest topic on the Right is how to get a child molester elected so a perjured Attorney General can resign and his replacement can fire a special prosecutor who's discovering the president's treason.
— Jared Yates Sexton (@JYSexton) November 14, 2017
This is why we love the Twitter. pic.twitter.com/wVwxAYee1Q
— JustJanis (@jsavite) November 13, 2017
Deer population is controlled by releasing wolves into an area. All problems should be solved that way. Too much pollution? Release wolves in factories. Dislike Congress? Wolves. Wanna lose weight? That's right, wolves.
— Bear Knee Sanders (@LeBearGirdle) November 13, 2017
Sean Hannity's Fox News show right now. Apparently, I have been exposed. (Of Note: I am gay. And, my husband/partner of 14 years is Jewish) pic.twitter.com/LFaG4HxC2V
— Angelo Carusone (@GoAngelo) November 14, 2017
With this Wikileaks collusion news, I'm assuming Don Jr is going to claim to be a pedophile to improve his support from the @GOP.
— Frederick Douglass (@gettinnoticedmo) November 13, 2017
.@DonaldJTrumpJr 😂you wrote "off the record..." in a private message to Wikileaks! 😂
— Tim Heidecker (@timheidecker) November 13, 2017
November 14
If reducing the number of women in the workplace will prevent sexual harassment in the workplace, wouldn't reducing the number of guns in America prevent gun violence in America? PICK A LANE, ASSHOLES.
— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 14, 2017
2016 Conservatives: "Gay Pride!? What's next, pedo pride!?"
— Andrea Patehviri (@_andreathegiant) November 14, 2017
2017 Conservatives: "If it wasn't for pedophilia, we wouldn't have Jesus!"
when you finally get to be dungeon master and you skip school to spend the whole day planning the ultimate D&D campaign pic.twitter.com/IxAmCJ7irT
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) November 15, 2017
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 15, 2017
What kind of callous asshole cuts and pastes his cookie cutter condolences for mass shootings, and then forgets to change the name of the town where the latest one took place? pic.twitter.com/AbcHyj8Pkm
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 15, 2017
Guys I just found out that super chill cat was from a neighborhood in Istanbul and when she passed away in 2015 the residents missed her so much they made a statue of her sitting in the same spot and I am now dead my ghost is typing this pic.twitter.com/PJle1OJ5Yi
— August J. Pollak (@AugustJPollak) November 15, 2017
November 15
'Get Out' is a documentary.
— Jordan Peele (@JordanPeele) November 15, 2017
Bad website but also good website pic.twitter.com/fof1itJoU0
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 16, 2017
who played it better? pic.twitter.com/qg6QATLEtR
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) November 16, 2017
President Trump stops his speech to search for water
— Pat Ward (@WardDPatrick) November 15, 2017
cc: @marcorubio pic.twitter.com/26hR5w7ZIe
You know what I find sexy in a man? "Being kind of shitty" and "being not very smart." pic.twitter.com/pyILzW0E18
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 15, 2017
Love to drink a bottle of water like a normal adult man pic.twitter.com/CJZ9SNgtHl
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 16, 2017
Here's what @TomiLahren would sound like as an '80s pop hit. pic.twitter.com/esJJydjZME
— Super Deluxe (@superdeluxe) November 15, 2017
i for one will miss baked alaska's unrelenting dedication to the self-own pic.twitter.com/pF6MVlVCo3
— Glen Coco (@MrPooni) November 16, 2017
Some are saying it's silly to spend time tweeting about this photo instead of the GOP tax plan, but this photo IS the GOP tax plan pic.twitter.com/jnHFqBeVEy
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 16, 2017
Obamacare vs. trumpcare...you decide. pic.twitter.com/eoJtFp3ZLC
— Tomthunkit™ (@TomthunkitsMind) November 15, 2017
November 16
This year, instead of pardoning a turkey, Trump is going to round up every turkey Obama ever pardoned and kill them on live TV.
— Brohibition Now (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 16, 2017
Just a reminder last year on Thanksgiving that Natives were being tortured with dogs, illegal scare tactics, being run over by angry white ppl all to protect our water and this year on Thanksgiving they are now cleaning up 200,000 gallon oil spill on a South Dakota reservation
— Fuck Thanksgiving (@lilnativeboy) November 17, 2017
My prayers go out to Charles Manson and his family in this time of pain.
— Norm Macdonald (@normmacdonald) November 16, 2017
The Keystone pipeline spill in South Dakota has lots of Republicans wondering: What was South Dakota wearing? Something low-cut?
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) November 17, 2017
Motherfucker we have you on tape pic.twitter.com/vHsJaB9oZB
— jordan (@JordanUhl) November 17, 2017
the trump administration pretending to get things done pic.twitter.com/NdFOUIFccg
— giovanni lasagna (@lasagnabby) November 17, 2017
November 17
You really have to be a special kind of human garbage to lift a ban on elephant trophy hunting.
— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) November 17, 2017
This quote should go in the 2017 time capsule https://t.co/1V2AP7brTR pic.twitter.com/flg03lcmWk
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) November 17, 2017