Face in the pie, segregation high, a baby vs. Spotify, will the knife-parrot fly, and much more from this week in funny tweets.<br>
<br>
<strong>November 19</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">People will be like "nobody cares about your Spotify wrapped" and then post a picture of their baby</p>
— Dylan (@TheRealMrTrees) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheRealMrTrees/status/1461899147460550659?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">One of my favorite tweets 😂 <a href="https://t.co/buE4vnzfpv">pic.twitter.com/buE4vnzfpv</a></p>
— carlos boobzer (@CashAppRecords) <a href="https://twitter.com/CashAppRecords/status/1461775315324260359?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me: No serial killer will ever lure me into their murder van. I' m too smart for that.<br>
<br>
Murderer: <a href="https://t.co/ThvagNDZvS">pic.twitter.com/ThvagNDZvS</a></p>
— Patricia Correll (@Author_PCorrell) <a href="https://twitter.com/Author_PCorrell/status/1461830022541549576?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">pete davidson, travis barker, and machine gun kelly are the manic pixie dream girl of men….. the chaos goblin line cook</p>
— yeehaw meg (@yeehaw_meg) <a href="https://twitter.com/yeehaw_meg/status/1461894785921396740?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">new dad joke just dropped <a href="https://t.co/o8M9LqP1hi">pic.twitter.com/o8M9LqP1hi</a></p>
— katie🧃 (@katiemedleyy) <a href="https://twitter.com/katiemedleyy/status/1461739805381992457?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/YsLNJ3oND5">pic.twitter.com/YsLNJ3oND5</a></p>
— casper moon (@bleepblooptwts) <a href="https://twitter.com/bleepblooptwts/status/1461689057524830209?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 19, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 20</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">a lot of debates on here wouldn't be happening if y'all signed up for a intro level sociology course once in your lives lol.</p>
— ria ✩⡱ (@BLKACRUX) <a href="https://twitter.com/BLKACRUX/status/1462184615930703872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ok normally I don't but this 1-2 was pretty good <a href="https://t.co/EmuzQXINSw">pic.twitter.com/EmuzQXINSw</a></p>
— Marcia Belsky (@MarciaBelsky) <a href="https://twitter.com/MarciaBelsky/status/1462072057852837895?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">pidgey flying my stoned ass to vermilion city <a href="https://t.co/nyp3paHjVB">https://t.co/nyp3paHjVB</a></p>
— sean @ back to wage hell (@Haurmeya) <a href="https://twitter.com/Haurmeya/status/1462262319409467394?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">im sitting here high as fuck like this mf talented 😭 <a href="https://t.co/sPRJentAwp">https://t.co/sPRJentAwp</a></p>
— dr. love robinson 👨🏾‍⚕️ (@RobWalks_) <a href="https://twitter.com/RobWalks_/status/1462216841330413574?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/FuRh4RgpB3">pic.twitter.com/FuRh4RgpB3</a></p>
— wikipedia out of context but i made them up (@WikiOoc) <a href="https://twitter.com/WikiOoc/status/1462312158943858692?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">MFs will pay $14 to see a Hollywood corporate movie but gripe about paying $10 to see five of the worst local bands of all time in a dangerous warehouse</p>
— jane dough (@bile_keurig) <a href="https://twitter.com/bile_keurig/status/1462179102660743171?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/bByy9ku1aU">pic.twitter.com/bByy9ku1aU</a></p>
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) <a href="https://twitter.com/ericsmithrocks/status/1462193726814629896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Nah why they got his government name up 😂 <a href="https://t.co/4woNBlyE0p">pic.twitter.com/4woNBlyE0p</a></p>
— Detective Drip (@ImKindaFunny901) <a href="https://twitter.com/ImKindaFunny901/status/1462102818983190543?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/XQDHMGGyz8">pic.twitter.com/XQDHMGGyz8</a></p>
— Washtenaw General Defense Committee (@DefenseGeneral) <a href="https://twitter.com/DefenseGeneral/status/1462086753662218242?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 20, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 21</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">im addicted to thinking "i should watch a movie" for two hours and then not watching one and then thinking "well its too late to start one now" and than staying up for an additional two hours</p>
— Tranz Biberkopf 🕯️ (@steelydante) <a href="https://twitter.com/steelydante/status/1462660117103534081?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">after years of hard work and saving, i was finally able to afford my own place today 😎 <a href="https://t.co/CWJPaVztLo">pic.twitter.com/CWJPaVztLo</a></p>
— big estaban (@bigestaban) <a href="https://twitter.com/bigestaban/status/1462448299332583427?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">girl at the weed store described a strain as "giggly" i said bitch add that silly shit to my cart!</p>
— meg "The Situation" (@dogmatic_shorty) <a href="https://twitter.com/dogmatic_shorty/status/1462492540398030850?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">this painting is titled:<br>
Are You Going To Finish That? <a href="https://t.co/XAb6Yfj5AN">pic.twitter.com/XAb6Yfj5AN</a></p>
— an english human (@English_Channel) <a href="https://twitter.com/English_Channel/status/1462571720045387776?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">babies be eatin anything wtf is apple chicken <a href="https://t.co/RLBusdetGN">pic.twitter.com/RLBusdetGN</a></p>
— Corn ✮ (@sneerid) <a href="https://twitter.com/sneerid/status/1462494528502480904?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A good steak pun is an example of a rare medium well done.</p>
— Matt Zoller Seitz (@mattzollerseitz) <a href="https://twitter.com/mattzollerseitz/status/1462599985682341895?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">[First date]<br>
<br>
Me: What do you do?<br>
<br>
Him: I'm a seismologist.<br>
<br>
Me: How big is the Mall of America?</p>
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) <a href="https://twitter.com/Rollinintheseat/status/1462472898204033031?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 21, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 22</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/Hdeks87LOE">pic.twitter.com/Hdeks87LOE</a></p>
— Sam 🌐'Rama (@samorama) <a href="https://twitter.com/samorama/status/1462995474160529410?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/6tnmfMsZ08">pic.twitter.com/6tnmfMsZ08</a></p>
— chaos tiktoks (@chaostiktoks) <a href="https://twitter.com/chaostiktoks/status/1462954700223963138?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"thank you for your order, I'll push it off the edge of the counter when it's ready" <a href="https://t.co/1RAklxbxXh">pic.twitter.com/1RAklxbxXh</a></p>
— Paul Bronks for Lovina Animal Welfare (@slender_sherbet) <a href="https://twitter.com/slender_sherbet/status/1462680904489439232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I just think it's cute that stamps are stickers with a job</p>
— Feliz nAvivadad 🌟 (@AvivaMaiArtzy) <a href="https://twitter.com/AvivaMaiArtzy/status/1462930036269494280?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Very funny that people used to answer higher minimum wage demands by saying they'd just automate the jobs, and now that it's prime time to do it due to labor shortage, the tech doesn't work and is too expensive so they just put up signs saying "sorry we can't McDonald today"</p>
— dan (@flagrater) <a href="https://twitter.com/flagrater/status/1462814910996533259?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I think we learn about other planets too young. They should keep it from us until we're like, 16. Then be like, "guess the fuck what."</p>
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) <a href="https://twitter.com/aardvarsk/status/1462952975333158919?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">you're telling me if i complete the task that is giving me stress then my anxiety about it will go away????? sounds fake</p>
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) <a href="https://twitter.com/Kristen_Arnett/status/1462807954399404039?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/hFeOW87boB">pic.twitter.com/hFeOW87boB</a></p>
— Groby (@JSpeep) <a href="https://twitter.com/JSpeep/status/1462938493437595649?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 23</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">i ain't victim-blaming, but why tf was an egg sitting on a wall</p>
— tweets by ellewasamistake (@ellewasamistake) <a href="https://twitter.com/ellewasamistake/status/1463315306743353346?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Anytime I have to show proof of vaccination and my ID, I wish they had just microchipped me.</p>
— Ariel Elias (@Ariel_Comedy) <a href="https://twitter.com/Ariel_Comedy/status/1463332905141383170?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I love dry cereal it feels like im eating dog food for girls</p>
— helena (@freshhel) <a href="https://twitter.com/freshhel/status/1463344421731069956?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">if you're at Thanksgiving and someone says their decision to not get vaccinated doesn't affect anyone else, cut your slice of pie like this to demonstrate how that is very untrue <a href="https://t.co/PFq95dJ2vA">pic.twitter.com/PFq95dJ2vA</a></p>
— Josh Trebach, MD (@jtrebach) <a href="https://twitter.com/jtrebach/status/1463278877787275274?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">A tragic airplane moment: we've been sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off for two hours. The guy in front of us fell asleep immediately upon boarding, he just woke up and started getting ready to get off the plane - he thought we'd landed. My wife broke the news to him.</p>
— Tom Gara (@tomgara) <a href="https://twitter.com/tomgara/status/1463123008483217411?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Achilles calls Thetis for help during the Trojan War, 1184 BC (colourised) <a href="https://t.co/DE3vbXDYf4">pic.twitter.com/DE3vbXDYf4</a></p>
— Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens (@CSMFHT) <a href="https://twitter.com/CSMFHT/status/1463064353549131780?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/fNK00wsHPI">pic.twitter.com/fNK00wsHPI</a></p>
— Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens (@CSMFHT) <a href="https://twitter.com/CSMFHT/status/1463083270606708743?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 23, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 24</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">changing my name to crypto so men see long term potential in an objectively unstable prospect</p>
— xanax in a cinnabon (ali) (@xanabon) <a href="https://twitter.com/xanabon/status/1463518753170366476?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">funny men attract hot women and funny women attract hate comments on Twitter</p>
— isabel🌝 (@itsuhhbell) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsuhhbell/status/1463538556895436801?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">The hometown urge to point out to your partner every single place you have ever done anything</p>
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) <a href="https://twitter.com/ronnui_/status/1463580472617877510?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">My late father should have been here, like, ten minutes ago.</p>
— Dave Merritt (@GoldenSeals) <a href="https://twitter.com/GoldenSeals/status/1463508072073150464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 24, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<strong>November 25</strong><br>
&nbsp;
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">when i find myself in times of trouble<br>
cousin greg comes to me<br>
speaking words of wisdom<br>
if it is to be said, so it be</p>
— Jill Krajewski (@JillKrajewski) <a href="https://twitter.com/JillKrajewski/status/1463888937940918275?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">owning an old home is great because you get to fix 60 year old prior repairs. oh you want to change that light fixture? in 1957 some dude named Dick hotwired the current fixture and instead of using a junction box just nailed it all to a joist and filled the cavity with asbestos</p>
— alan mustache (@braidednosehair) <a href="https://twitter.com/braidednosehair/status/1463903635096715269?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">First Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's parent's house. I sat down way too early then she took this photo to make fun of me. <a href="https://t.co/rSBUJKtDpF">pic.twitter.com/rSBUJKtDpF</a></p>
— Brooks Wheelan (@brookswheelan) <a href="https://twitter.com/brookswheelan/status/1463747559206232065?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">"You can make the salad." — An African-American insult</p>
— Shockher Khan (@jewelnotjule) <a href="https://twitter.com/jewelnotjule/status/1463878408253882369?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">I can see why that old trope of 'spiking the punch' is in so many movies! I can't remember the last time I was at a party, social event or get together that didn't have a giant, uncovered bowl of fruit punch sitting on a table.</p>
— James Hartnett (@jameshartnett) <a href="https://twitter.com/jameshartnett/status/1463989318515572741?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
<p lang="en" dir="ltr">Favorite float this year <a href="https://t.co/EL8vgKzImh">pic.twitter.com/EL8vgKzImh</a></p>
— CornCob TV (@onCornCobTV) <a href="https://twitter.com/onCornCobTV/status/1463910978978996229?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 25, 2021</a></blockquote>
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Vish Khanna

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: November 26, 2021

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