The president may be impeached, his wall is easily breached, British climate change efforts are beached, September 21st is reached and much more from this week in funny tweets.

September 21

https://t.co/Kh6Aq2kIds pic.twitter.com/Y9kJsaRuEq
— demi adejuyigbe (@electrolemon) September 21, 2019

I did it. I found the worst gender reveal. pic.twitter.com/37b5GkrTbN
— Ana Bretón (@missbreton) September 21, 2019

Trump visited the US border this week & said rock climbers tested his wall & agreed it cannot be climbed. But Mexicans have turned Trump's wall into a tourist attraction & are playing a game to see who can climb it the fastest, no ladders or ropes needed. The record is 45 seconds pic.twitter.com/2Xr4rolKk2
— Stone 🥶 (@stonecold2050) September 22, 2019

My dog just suped me. pic.twitter.com/EhFttegAXn
— Liam Abbott (@liamabbottfilm) September 21, 2019

Why aren't there new pasta shapes? We should be treating pasta shapes like iPhones, there should be a keynote every year.
— Daniel Spenser (@DanSpenser) September 21, 2019

Bully: hey nice glasses!

Me: thank you

Bully: they make you look smart

Me: I feel smart

Bully: I like the way they frame your face

Me: that's nice to hear

Bully: have a nice day

Me: you too Wulliam
— clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) September 21, 2019

she's the mother i never had... the sister everyone wants... the friend everybody deserves... i don't know a better person pic.twitter.com/W3vK3PXniB
— permanetly high (@BhadDhad) September 21, 2019

grant us all the utter audacity of these sausages-posing-as-dogs pic.twitter.com/cA0vJbUYXi
— Faine Greenwood (@faineg) September 21, 2019

September 22

I put my cat in water and it stopped working pic.twitter.com/vB2mLrgBVQ
— Kittens (@kittensfolder) September 22, 2019

Socialism means you won't die from not being able to afford insulin but you can only get one type of insulin instead of choosing between Cool Ranch Insulin and Jalapeño Cheddar Insulin.
— the artist unfortunately known as (@babadookspinoza) September 22, 2019

Damn remember when they murdered Jeffrey Epstein while he was in federal custody to prevent a trial that might have uncovered an international child sex trafficking ring with close ties to two US Presidents. That shit was crazy and less than six weeks ago
— Volceltaire, Bastard (@Volceltaire) September 22, 2019

"We need more information" is both true and valid. But we also have the President saying that he did it.
— Brian Schatz (@brianschatz) September 22, 2019

September 23

Don't let the fuckers get you down. pic.twitter.com/Ii4sTW1bPu
— Dan Alani (@danalani) September 23, 2019

Can you nominate a gif for an Oscar? pic.twitter.com/0lMEDZ2Qoa
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) September 23, 2019

still in shock that my "Carpool Ted Talks Karaoke" was not recognized yet again by the Emmys this year
pic.twitter.com/xJpGvLo1Cn
— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) September 23, 2019

Who is that little white girl with the braids runnin' around savin' the world and whatnot I like that little white girl with the braids put her in charge of errrrrythang you go little white girl with the braids!
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 23, 2019

September 24

Regular Company: 404 Error Not Found

A Fuckin' COOL Company: WHOOPSY-BACON! Our SERVER NINJAS couldn't find the AWESOMESAUCE in your cyber-AMAZEBALLS! Try re-typing ALL THE URLS! Beyoncé is my biological father.
— Daniel Kibblesmith @ NYCC AA-A28☃️ (@kibblesmith) September 25, 2019

Paying tribute to Larry David and all the people who continue to love and play the game - even if their childhood dreams of being a hall of fame golfer were ripped away by a jealous brother. Enjoy this special #PhiresidewithPhil on #TributeTuesday. pic.twitter.com/SoHYgpVbP2
— Phil Mickelson (@PhilMickelson) September 24, 2019

oh i can answer that, it's because that's a long time pic.twitter.com/GaXAF4WceJ
— robyn reynolds (@depressionfan93) September 25, 2019

Mate you own a fucking airline https://t.co/nKVEsDHRpS
— 🌷Fabian🌹 (@Fab_Newt) September 24, 2019

I can't stop watching this ad for an "anti-choking device" where the mom stays on phone while heimliching her kid pic.twitter.com/LflcoLukwC
— Lucy Mueller (@ltotheucy) September 24, 2019

"The Whistleblower's Complaint" sounds like a Decemberists song
— Craig Bro Dude (@CraigSJ) September 24, 2019

The Onion is now just a legitimate news agency that speaks in a sarcastic tone https://t.co/nwrKJHepQF
— 🏳️‍⚧️ VƎX is Trans 🏳️‍⚧️ (@vexwerewolf) September 24, 2019

damn he really did her dirty, didn't he https://t.co/CO8gbiKlY9
— half-aspirational (@ohtazer) September 24, 2019

Congrats to Trump on finally being fucked by a woman his own age https://t.co/yIZHfLHV3v
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 25, 2019

September 25

this is absolutely the worst solo i have ever heard by any instrument pic.twitter.com/tr9HPaZCYq
— Gal Gracen (@galgracen) September 25, 2019

This is the strangest part of the transcript. I think Trump got some bad legal advice pic.twitter.com/kqKB3NXxrK
— pixelatedboat aka "mr tweets" (@pixelatedboat) September 25, 2019

after all he's done, Trump getting impeached over a phone call to Ukraine is like Al Capone going to jail for tax evasion, Houdini dying of an appendix and Al Pacino winning his only Oscar for Scent of a Woman
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) September 25, 2019

So you want us to believe that the entire Obama cabinet was in on a billion dollar corruption scheme, and you knew about it this whole time, and you decided to make it public now, on the night the House started to impeach your boss?

Sure. https://t.co/eMzyBNWXob
— Ronald Klain (@RonaldKlain) September 25, 2019

The transcript of the call reads like a classic mob shakedown:

– We do a lot for Ukraine
– There's not much reciprocity
– I have a favor to ask
– Investigate my opponent
– My people will be in touch

Nice country you got there.

It would be a shame if something happened to her.
— Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) September 25, 2019

oh no my cyberpunk name is RACIST FUCK https://t.co/kvYarqZe4X
— Chip Zdarsky aka The Ultimate Fan Experience (@zdarsky) September 25, 2019

this is the funniest thing I can think of pic.twitter.com/0h6SLezFKb
— Ben Kling (@benkling) September 25, 2019

How fucking stupid do you have to be to edit the transcript of the call and STILL end up including hardcore evidence that you committed an impeachable crime?

I honestly can't decide which is more dangerous, his constant corruption or his historic, world-class stupidity.
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) September 25, 2019

September 26

Funeral food be so good I be forgetting who the fuck died
— darius (@fuckDariuss) September 27, 2019

No city will ever have better culture pic.twitter.com/5n68tC1CM1
— noah (@ih8stevensinger) September 26, 2019

I take your 'first name', and raise you my full name. https://t.co/b3K3invfiQ
— Harry Potter (@HPneuro) September 26, 2019

LETS ALEXA DO WHAT???? https://t.co/lpLgC1tP91
— Lil Uzi Hurt (@lostblackboy) September 26, 2019

☝️ … 👉

Pointed right to the flag

(via @thecheckdown)pic.twitter.com/55VK9UPLO8
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) September 27, 2019

Hang in there! Help is available. https://t.co/aenieXxVut
— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) September 26, 2019

the worst part of a haircut is when they take the cape off and you have to stop giving them the finger
— brent (@murrman5) September 26, 2019

gee i wonder https://t.co/nzFA2tFbJm
— Edward Snowden (@Snowden) September 26, 2019

The perfect video does not exi— pic.twitter.com/UK7rM623Ng
— Chad Loder ➐ (@chadloder) September 26, 2019

The President just threatened an American intelligence official with execution who gave corroborated information about a gross abuse of power.

This is who Republicans are defending.
— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) September 26, 2019

I didn't do it, I'm innocent, all the witnesses should die
— Tim Murphy (@timothypmurphy) September 26, 2019

September 27

Broken by a school newspaper, but in fairness the NYT was busy interviewing Trump supporters to ask if they still support Trump https://t.co/ZoX6QNwLqV
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) September 27, 2019

Found this achingly stunning: Yanni & the Joker pic.twitter.com/CIouLbCokH
— Bridey Lee Elliott (@brideylee) September 28, 2019

I've been wearing the same pants for eight years https://t.co/bP7RIxS0Rs
— Allie Goertz (@AllieGoertz) September 27, 2019

Trees won't hide the pipeline you bought. https://t.co/BHwC3dJQsX
— Jagmeet Singh (@theJagmeetSingh) September 27, 2019

Sex so good you knock Alan out of a tree while he's having his dinner.

📹: Imgur user SlimJones123 pic.twitter.com/j0lDJTBL3D
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) September 27, 2019

I don't know who made this but it's perfect pic.twitter.com/ZcgSeP6nT4
— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) September 27, 2019

Just staring at this pic.twitter.com/WjIjOAzICb
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) September 27, 2019

Universal amphitheater backstage. @chrisrock show. Farley was talking to the camera and Adam said it's a picture not a video and we laughed https://t.co/sA7r5yZosn
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) September 27, 2019

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 27, 2019

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