Inning #2, why is the sound so bad at this venue, Ayo Edebiri's dad's review, what Travis Kelce has gotten himself into, and much more from this week in funny tweets.

September 22

Heard a woman in Target ask her kid 'is that a smart choice to make with your money?' and now I wish she would follow me around the store, too.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) September 22, 2023

this is either a typo or the greatest commitment to journalism in the history of journalism pic.twitter.com/dfNVGrwnoR
— ACABylon Bot, LLC (@ACABylonBee) September 22, 2023

https://t.co/MhF19WsJ4O pic.twitter.com/EREJBktkdk
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 22, 2023

Fetterman must look absolutely insane to Diane Feinstein. Imagine if an ogre in gym shorts just started showing up at your work place and you never remember meeting him
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) September 22, 2023

Fox News brought this guy on this morning to blast the relaxed Senate dress code and demand that John Fetterman wear a suit and tie. pic.twitter.com/7a4VrKwtxZ
— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona) September 22, 2023

every time I write an email I think: "you need to be professional. no smiley faces. no exclamation points. use big, smart words. you are so so brave" and then I'll get a reply from some 60 year old VP named Mike that's like, "thx. have a gr8 wknd!
Get Outlook for iOS"
— S.LIZ (@slizagna) September 22, 2023

shout out to to these extras in the background of Bottoms for selling the hell out of this inaudible conversation. like what were they even talking about pic.twitter.com/zfezP4SrAj
— paul (@paulswhtn) September 22, 2023

Remember when the Panama Papers came out and exposed all the billionaires and politicians as the money-grubbing criminals they are and the journalist who broke the story was car-bombed and no one did anything about it? 🤔
— @red-ironheart.bsky.social |NoWarButClassWar| (@redd_foreverr) September 23, 2023

they're not coming back, they died from COVID https://t.co/w5BcikV0ch
— Kilmartin: Cincy, Austin, Ft Collins (@anylaurie16) September 22, 2023

A glass pot is crazy give the food some privacy https://t.co/wpIGkT2Loz
— Q🦦 (@youcancallmeQ_) September 22, 2023

Quite honestly this is the best analysis of Radiohead ever https://t.co/bbppks7wtG
— Sofia Coppium (@indianloonie) September 22, 2023

BBC Breakfast showed a pigeon hitting a man's head and Naga Munchetty lost it. It's absolutely delightful. pic.twitter.com/2NDBFlb64S
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 22, 2023

I mean do I have to say it? https://t.co/ZH4MrAqMEA pic.twitter.com/RuL2jF4FvF
— WatchMojo (@WatchMojo) September 22, 2023

https://t.co/ZdESrkgH10 pic.twitter.com/2hBGQ535rS
— Dan White (@atdanwhite) September 22, 2023

This is my favourite exchange in a very long time. Care of Mickey Rourke… pic.twitter.com/ePHlsG17gj
— 𝗢𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗺𝗮𝗻 (@OliverMaltman) September 22, 2023

Genuinely don't think I'll ever get over this https://t.co/PuaU17fHrB pic.twitter.com/Yun1TxXdeh
— flynn slicker (@flynnslick) September 22, 2023

Husband, day 1 of owning a dog: It's just a dog.

Husband, day 2 of owning a dog: We should give the dog a middle name.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 22, 2023

me: *trying to wipe my dog's wet paws as i let her in from outside just like i have done every day for the last two years*

my dog: what the fuck is this shit
— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) September 22, 2023

Congrats, you've just (re-)invented cable TV! Do residuals next! https://t.co/ZDsKIoH5bl
— Gennefer Gross (@Gennefer) September 22, 2023

Forgot to make fun of this yesterday, sorry, won't happen again. pic.twitter.com/cK3iYWkh3i
— Shawn Wines WGA Captain (@shawnwines) September 23, 2023

September 23

It's a "best and final offer" from the people who brought you HBO Max I mean HBO Go I mean HBO Now I mean Max I mean
— Corey Deshon (@CoreyDeshon) September 24, 2023

BestAndFinalOfferV8_revise_finalFINAL.pdf https://t.co/2ntafSiLSL
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) September 24, 2023

NBA Twitter is not real 💀 pic.twitter.com/8akezH5YdW
— Hana (@HanaHoops) September 23, 2023

When she asks me "What's coming on after the game?" and I have the pleasure of telling her "Another game." pic.twitter.com/xRVSnLl5X3
— Ski Mask Shawty (@haveyouheardofg) September 23, 2023

Very disappointed the accused sex offender hasn't chosen to spread conspiracy theories on my platform pic.twitter.com/BTt0L76llG
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2023

It's easy to slag this off for not being funny. And I guess that's what I like about it. How easy, and correct, it is to do that. https://t.co/0Z4qzLpRlT
— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) September 23, 2023

this dude is unintentionally recreating "an evening with tim heidecker" except without any irony and not a single second is funny https://t.co/oCs9UU3hWF
— Jared Gilman (@realJaredGilman) September 23, 2023

i have made crazier jokes than this in work meetings https://t.co/98Xjhxrb4w pic.twitter.com/oF4dVvWsOj
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) September 23, 2023

Sensational material pic.twitter.com/mlzBpOhAJE
— TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) September 23, 2023

I put my American audience to the test with a selection of my darkest jokes… https://t.co/ORbj8TUqNb pic.twitter.com/xc7Dz4zeXN
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) September 24, 2023

in 2014 there was a push for everyone with a platform to use their influence for good. comedians can't do that without a drop in ticket sales. instead, they began pretending comedy was under attack so that they can mimic activism without having to actually risk anything. pic.twitter.com/3nShrkfcQa
— Alice Hamilton (@AliceRHamilton) September 23, 2023

incredible to take an 80 second "is this allowed??" windup and then read jokes right off Popsicle Sticks Against Humanity https://t.co/mjocD1gbzS
— mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) September 24, 2023

Middle aged hack comics desperate to go viral for being "edgy" punching down on trans people or being racist on a basement stage, meanwhile Nate Bargatze is selling out arenas with material like this

pic.twitter.com/bQlrPPTeiO
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) September 23, 2023

Absolute perfection…yeah yeah yeahpic.twitter.com/2KcDnIU3aN
— Eddie Braben (@eddie_braben) September 23, 2023

burger king has fallen… pic.twitter.com/rRrTWiWabh
— pudding person (@JUNlPER) September 23, 2023

pic.twitter.com/Gn7bUtEF16
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) September 23, 2023

Living in Toronto is so embarrassing because your friends from Montreal will visit and start asking questions like "where is all the green space?", "why is the sound so bad at this venue?", "where are all the hot people?", "why is that dog in a stroller?" , etc.
— forlornwife (@forlornwife) September 24, 2023

Ontario's Ministry of Health recommends coughing into your elbow instead of masking for highly infectious airborne diseases like Covid. Apparently they want people to use every body part except their brain.
— Bill Comeau (@Billius27) September 23, 2023

Hello, Conservative Party of Canada? Yeah, this is Doug Ford, mayor of Ontario. Listen, I'm just puttin' some feelers out and such, but I wanted to ask about how strict you are about that whole French speaking thing? Come prawned moo-wah? pic.twitter.com/4JTTse6QHm
— Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) September 24, 2023

Canada's parliament gave a standing ovation to a literal Nazi from World War 2. Here's why that's good news for markets
— CBC Pitchbot (Satire) (@CBCPitchbot) September 23, 2023

I love when Hulk wears his formal bandana pic.twitter.com/1nVSMH14h2
— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) September 23, 2023

It's surreal to see the populists who constantly rail against the elite suddenly say, "hold on, why isn't this senator acting like an elite and dressing in $5k suits and going to fancy Michelin star restaurants?" https://t.co/HBC0OerWs8
— Alejandra Caraballo (@Esqueer_) September 23, 2023

President Fugazi https://t.co/PBO55oMrQq
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) September 24, 2023

sorry but "what good is all that idol money if you're paying 2400 for a Los Feliz one bedroom like the rest of the plebs" is pretty much why SAG is on strike https://t.co/emeZLooEoe
— jes tom • TORONTO 9/28, 29, 30 just added! 🥀 (@jestom) September 24, 2023

the fictional town from sex education stresses me out so much like where do they all live in relation to each other. why do eric and otis both use the same bus stop in the woods, surely there'd be a bus stop closer to eric's house in the village. do they even have a wetherspoons.
— grace (@amandayoungdyke) September 23, 2023

Obsessed with ayo edebiri's dad's review of bottoms pic.twitter.com/LRFlv4NsrI
— august (@folkIoriians) September 24, 2023

September 24

Jane Lynch a bit https://t.co/DEwFLAH0ub
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) September 24, 2023

Julie Kavner screaming as Marge from The Simpsons ALS Ice Bucket sketch https://t.co/QNzt1wss3W pic.twitter.com/xyIMM685AO
— Amber✨ (@amberleahhx) September 24, 2023

lowkey "seize him" and "unhand me" were huge for the english language
— rosie (@roramdin) September 24, 2023

nah ok these kids channels are officially going too far 💀 tf is this 😭 pic.twitter.com/mkHBygLl5B
— Cold Ones (@ColdOnes) September 24, 2023

I find something about this so deeply upsetting and grim. Editing your personal photos to make people look happier, more photogenic. The ability to edit your own memories essentially. Awful stuff. https://t.co/njMcw4Mw5n
— Ryan Broderick (@broderick) September 24, 2023

well we laughed, we cried, we fucked around, we found out, we murdered some trees and we wished a little light homelessness on certain people, but overall i think we can all agree i personally did a great job! now if you'll excuse us we need to go atone!!!!!! https://t.co/aIcLv9cutr
— Carol Lombardini (@ItsMeCarolAMPTP) September 25, 2023

Even though the strike is ending don't forget there's still so many reasons to think Bill Maher sucks
— Henry Gammill (@HenryGammill) September 25, 2023

She's right and anyone who doesn't think so is wrong sorry https://t.co/jheGxYPY2q
— Matt Zoller Seitz (@mattzollerseitz) September 25, 2023

It's crazy that renaming HBO Max to Max wasn't even the worst brand rename this year in terms of pointless value destruction.
— Senior PowerPoint Engineer (@ryxcommar) September 25, 2023

When I was in high school 38 year old Jerry Seinfeld was dating a girl in my year and he picked her up from class during 4th period and she got to skip Mr Solinski's calculus exam (I got a 93/100) https://t.co/DLgdzyHzBD pic.twitter.com/g9KyrmxywS
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) September 24, 2023

Me after hitting "no tip" and turning the tablet back around pic.twitter.com/3LzsiBlCRl
— Josh Black (@SirJoshuaBlack) September 24, 2023

Hi! Poisoning doctor here! This is not possible and is literally how you get water poisoning, which is really, really dangerous to do cause it's really, really bad. He absolutely did not do this, and you should not do this, too! https://t.co/tfSPrSTloz
— Ryan Marino, MD (@RyanMarino) September 24, 2023

instead of suits, each senator should have to constantly wear outfits inspired by their home state like it's the miss america pageant. (pennsylvania is already doing this which is why they sent john fetterman)
— David Mack (@davidmackau) September 24, 2023

This is like calling Ringo Starr a "Beatles-linked musician". He was part of the band, mate. https://t.co/vNMy3gFY9S
— Caitlin Johnstone (@caitoz) September 25, 2023

Can we get a round of applause for this brave hero who fought against the Russians? pic.twitter.com/byGfesUWxL
— Kevin (@acommonkevin) September 25, 2023

"Sorry, guys. I need to make this play real quick."

Miguel Rojas mic'd up while making plays is hilarious 🤣

(via @Dodgers) pic.twitter.com/tOjMrNCG7V
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) September 24, 2023

https://t.co/u9pFzQ79S0 pic.twitter.com/syCPfUOs7t
— Tauriq Moosa (@tauriqmoosa) September 24, 2023

are these real people pic.twitter.com/6FmKJBQSK4
— ak, go birds in red october (@aries_menace) September 25, 2023

Gotta make a big show of helping clean up when you meet the parents. Veteran move. https://t.co/hLvlLKM0R0
— WBR (@W_B_Rick) September 25, 2023

it's nice that taylor swift is visiting her stadiums while they turn into mojo dojo casa houses for the football season
— Nora Dominick (@noradominick) September 24, 2023

I can't get over the situation Kelce has gotten himself into. He's faced with:
1. Getting destroyed lyrically
2. Getting called a distraction for the team
3. Millions of women turning on him
4. Absolute glory if it works out

I wish him the best
— B.W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) September 25, 2023

This is a man who knows he's in too deep and sees potential embarrassment around every corner. Millions of women are waiting to hate you and your own fans are gonna call your situationship a distraction. But if he backs out he's a coward. He cant win. It's kinda fascinating! pic.twitter.com/k63CXzid3P
— myles brown (@mdotbrown) September 25, 2023

September 25

While Taylor Swift's boyfriends were exported overseas during the Trump years, only during Joe Biden's administration were we able to bring this job back to the United States.
— Tyler Dinucci! (@TylerDinucci) September 25, 2023

John Hinckley, 1981. https://t.co/D2osrLdFZ9
— Norm Charlatan (@normcharlatan) September 26, 2023

In a tutorial on Do the Right Thing a 1st year student compared Sal to Thanos because that was the closest example he had from movies of a complex antagonist.

So yeah, I think Marty's right. https://t.co/MWMvE1VMpb
— Dan Simpson, Eyebrow Cinema (@danpgsimpson) September 25, 2023

It is starting to occur to me the reason the Anne Frank graphic novel got banned is because some people don't know that "graphic novel" is a term and thought it was a "graphic depiction of Anne Frank's diary."

These people have babybrains. https://t.co/HQmIrLutYn
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) September 25, 2023

CONTINUE THE STRIKE OMG https://t.co/HMaM8WHwNE
— Confidence Activist (@ForeverElSanto) September 25, 2023

No, absolutely not. We're not calling it "the content industry" now, you psychopaths https://t.co/KKxm4GmUEJ
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 25, 2023

We have an extra flashlight for our home emergencies https://t.co/pZ0kDmIcXI
— John Fetterman (@JohnFetterman) September 25, 2023

amazing - during a Fox News interview w/ Brian Kilmeade, former president of Ukraine Petro Poroshenko denounces Victor Shokin, who plays as a leading role in Kilmeade's conspiracy theories, as a "completely crazy person" & says "there's something wrong with him" as Kilmeade melts pic.twitter.com/MXedG1FmrB
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 25, 2023

A disoriented and confused Donald Trump short-circuited again during a live speech today and appeared to think that Jeb Bush was president and got us into the Iraq War.

Concerns continue to grow about Trump's deteriorating mental condition. pic.twitter.com/rE5Q4wlAon
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 25, 2023

There's often a @lukeoneil47 tweet. https://t.co/4s221EdVfX pic.twitter.com/oGUAqapquT
— jimitski hendrix (@a_ben_richmond) September 25, 2023

BREAKING: Trump spokesperson Steven Cheung just DELETED his post claiming his boss purchased a Glock in South Carolina after learning that it is a federal crime. He is now doing damage control and telling networks Trump did not actually buy the firearm. https://t.co/I0LBYEFRIT pic.twitter.com/W0PwHJpJhd
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 25, 2023

First half of clip: I was there, we can confirm Trump got that gun today.

Second half of clip: Will the fake news stop reporting Trump got that gun. I was there he didn't .

What a difference a couple hours can make. Same reporter. pic.twitter.com/CkqfVelqcP
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) September 25, 2023

I love this clip so much because Joy thought she got her good, even had the audience laughing, before Ru jumped in and, without missing a beat, delivered a KO. pic.twitter.com/mSlxk6iils
— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) September 26, 2023

Me getting a job at Benihana pic.twitter.com/IqAipQXUFB
— ali segel (@OnlineAlison) September 26, 2023

What a complete and utter asshole. https://t.co/1OlmYlqhOL
— John Catucci (@johncatucci) September 25, 2023

The basic dynamic of Canadian politics right now is the Liberals celebrated a Nazi through incredible incompetence, seven months after some Conservatives celebrated a Nazi completely on purpose
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) September 25, 2023

Oh no the House of Commons just gave a standing ovation to Paul Bernardo.
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) September 25, 2023

LOL…slower than the Japanese high-speed trains 59 YEARS AGO. https://t.co/OaiwFHOrlK
— Tim Shorrock (@TimothyS) September 26, 2023

September 26

hey sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) September 27, 2023

I love being like "fuuuck sakes what now?" when I get an email and it's just someone asking me to do things that are definitely my job
— Zubes (@theZubes) September 26, 2023

not many ppl know this but u don't have to get married or buy a house when ur older, u can literally be annoying with ur friends forever if u want
— first-mate prance (@bocxtop) September 26, 2023

He met her when she was 15 because he was buddies with her step dad, who basically babysat her during game night at Dane's house.

The people screaming groomer at every queer person ain't got 💩 to say when it's an old white cis guy grooming a little girl. Where's your outrage? https://t.co/qMPExL0ewb
— Cooper (@Cooperstreaming) September 26, 2023

MAN: I'm going to the Pink concert.

WIFE (sighing): Are you gonna protest circumcision midway through it?

MAN: No.

WIFE:

MAN: Yes. pic.twitter.com/7LWZtoVSbK
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) September 26, 2023

It's been a week, this guy has no savings? https://t.co/birOQm84Bh
— Kilmartin: Cincy, Austin, Ft Collins (@anylaurie16) September 26, 2023

He seems nice. 😂 https://t.co/lWZPUcIRfr
— yvette nicole brown (@YNB) September 26, 2023

Canada's elected officials when they hear that a 98 year old nazi is swinging by: pic.twitter.com/hO0k6cd1do
— Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) September 26, 2023

canadian nazi being honored in parliament: has best day of his entire life

next morning: *poland ringing up canada* can we execute him please
— pudding person (@JUNlPER) September 26, 2023

there's literally one dog on earth the cops aren't allowed to shoot and it's rightfully taking full advantage of its position https://t.co/2mB6pjTwwg
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) September 26, 2023

Jessica: But you said, okay, you don't need to watch him, let's just hear what comes out of his mouth, and I put together some of Trump's latest cognitive beauties from the last ten days. He said you need an ID to buy bread. Has anyone shown ID to buy Wonder Bread lately? pic.twitter.com/joRrATxnkw
— Acyn (@Acyn) September 26, 2023

he said whales are killing themselves by jumping into windmills and blamed Jeb Bush for the Iraq war, Byron https://t.co/7ynbordgF2
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 26, 2023

This is New York's corporate death penalty, applied to Trump because of years of misconduct. Justice. https://t.co/mzGJ7vdhaT
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) September 26, 2023

He. Was. Never. A. Successful. Business. Man.

He. Inherited. 400. Million. And. Went. Bankrupt. Seven. Times.

Every. Commercial. Venture. He. Launched. Failed. Miserably.

He. Conned. You. Into. Thinking. He. Was. A. Success. pic.twitter.com/64d2P2QaN8
— Andrew—Author of America Rises Newsletter—Wortman (@AmoneyResists) September 27, 2023

The entire Hunter Biden indictment that Republicans talk about 24 hours a day is about how he illegally purchased a firearm.

That's exactly what Trump did YESTERDAY. https://t.co/sjuQ4ac9U7
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) September 26, 2023

Fox News tried to do a bunch of scary man-on-the-street interviews about crime. It didn't go well. pic.twitter.com/49PVjwgFBB
— Kat Abu (@abughazalehkat) September 26, 2023

Thank you for capturing this during inning #2 https://t.co/iZBfSw299Y
— Charmin (@Charmin) September 27, 2023

Nice! https://t.co/aPhJ8JD2xO
— Ernie (@SesameErnie) September 27, 2023

every one of those companies:

- have many more users
- make a lot more money
- and are all around wildly more successful

than X / Twitter lol pic.twitter.com/vMcAeooIS2
— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) September 26, 2023

I'll straight up slumber at a retirement party and retire at a slumber party. I really don't give a shit anymore.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) September 27, 2023

You guys, I've found it.

I know there's a lot of incredibly stupid things on this app, but I have found the dumbest tweet in the entire history of tweeting.

Do share this with the Swifties so they can have a good laugh. pic.twitter.com/nYdBVRdHQW
— Khashoggi's Ghost 🇺🇦🌻 (@UROCKlive1) September 26, 2023

this sort of cultural clash is producing absolutely wonderful content pic.twitter.com/TjVaKCQDbL
— rachel (@rachelmillman) September 27, 2023

Travis Kelce tweet from 2011: Lurve that chiken from popeyes haha

Swiftie: Taylor he is not good for you. Taylor you are in danger
— Kafka, esq. 🧌 (@metalgearobama) September 27, 2023

Taylor can you ride Amtrak https://t.co/etkJpBFGCm
— Hayden Clarkin (@the_transit_guy) September 27, 2023

I love all of these women intentionally triggering their husbands and boyfriends by saying that no one knew who Travis Kelce was until he started dating Taylor Swift.

It's so funny how annoyed they get. pic.twitter.com/GlrxSLCdsE
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) September 26, 2023

September 27

I agree that there are only six jokes being made about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, but the one about Swifties learning and solving football in less than a week is nowhere close to played out imo.
That joke has legs like you wouldn't believe.
— Michael Baumann (@MichaelBaumann) September 27, 2023

Picking a fight with Swifties is probably the dumbest thing Fox News can do. And they have cornered the market on doing historically dumb things in the last three years. https://t.co/JkEMF9J3Je
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) September 27, 2023

Boy math is being surprised that Taylor Swift's net worth is 25x more than Travis Kelce.
— Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 (@cmclymer) September 27, 2023

I can't do this every week. We gotta figure something out https://t.co/emMymH6xC5
— Astead (@AsteadWH) September 28, 2023

No one should be this famous. Imagine eating a chicken nugget with normal condiments and then the Empire State Building lights up in honor of it https://t.co/lwqrOqknSu
— Neve (@neveofficiall) September 27, 2023

"he cooked"... "she ate"... who is doing the dishes...
— 😈 (@turtlekiosk) September 27, 2023

Yesterday, I asked the guys who are doing construction near my office where their burritos were from because they always smell *so* good. They told me that the foreman's mom makes them for them, which was disappointing until this morning when the foreman came running over to
— abby (@abby4thepeople) September 27, 2023

Generational quitter. Will do whatever it takes. One of the best to ever unlace his shoes. https://t.co/tYTzrm72Y0
— Tyler Parker (@tylrparkr) September 27, 2023

what did i say

pic.twitter.com/1YTWvhZHLL https://t.co/jb2MRmhTcb
— thot catalog (@trekpup) September 27, 2023

Wearing a Harvard sweatshirt and my dentist was like "oh do you go to Harvard" and I paused and said "in a sense….." I'm so embarrassed why did I say that. Why did I say that
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) September 27, 2023

Giving my classroom gluesticks human names has been revolutionary. Does a student care if a glue stick goes missing? No! Do they care if DEREK the glue stick has not been returned? ABSOLUTELY. It's like a manhunt until Derek has been returned to his rightful spot.
— Miss B (@MissBThe3rd) September 27, 2023

Well which one is he https://t.co/C1LkiOsVsu
— rev (@whyrev) September 27, 2023

veteran of world war 2, defended his country from the... hold the fort! pic.twitter.com/myTwIjAHoR
— IrishMann Carl (@bornposting) September 27, 2023

out: barbenheimer
in: saw patrol https://t.co/UKHbRhbjoG
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) September 27, 2023

By EOD, if possible! pic.twitter.com/pV8JI6wByY
— K***** (@internetkendra) September 27, 2023

Greatest stand-up bit ever pic.twitter.com/RQ2AUci2zU
— President-Elect Toguro (@PresidentToguro) September 28, 2023

This is forever funny 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/vshyPNBbYl
— Will Blackmon 🍷 (@WillBlackmon) September 27, 2023

This shit has me dying pic.twitter.com/oW3rHcF5Q6
— Matthew (@MatthewJA27) September 27, 2023

i always forget that the masked singer is a real show and not like a subplot on 30 rock
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) September 27, 2023

They look like they about to fuck Gotham UP https://t.co/I3He0byfXV
— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) September 27, 2023

never wait at a streetcar stop if you can't see it in the distance. the proper toronto math is to walk until you can actually see one which is often by the time you reach your destination https://t.co/GyPCDfsgjn
— Evy Kwong (@EVYSTADIUM) September 27, 2023

they needed this https://t.co/odyP6IoGkd
— comeback jack (@meanunclejack) September 27, 2023

This is the music toads listen to, I can't explain it but it is pic.twitter.com/OMMOWEMeXP
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) September 27, 2023

Boebert: Government programs helped me survive when I was poor and now that I have lots of cash I'm not going to tolerate any other poor people getting the help I got. https://t.co/mOJg5ejlhd
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) September 27, 2023

.@RepMTG: DONALD TRUMP LITERALLY DRAFTED THE ORDER—JUST DAYS AFTER LOSING THE 2020 ELECTION—TO REMOVE ALL U.S. TROOPS FROM AFGHANISTAN BY MAY OF 2021. https://t.co/89Cp96jHyC
— Andrew—Author of America Rises Newsletter—Wortman (@AmoneyResists) September 27, 2023

This guy wants to arrest the Georgia DA. pic.twitter.com/ouMmvFY4eX
— The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) September 27, 2023

Oh my God this is incredible. pic.twitter.com/jzMRAl2z8Q
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) September 27, 2023

The GOP presidential frontrunner, who didn't bother to show up tonight, was just found liable by a judge of long-running business fraud.

Not a single candidate has said a word about it. Not a single question on it from the moderators.

This is not actually a debate.
— Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) September 28, 2023

His powers of invention dialed up to full force, our greatest storyteller deals a terminal blow https://t.co/GY9dHVszRs
— Michael Koman (@MichaelKoman) September 27, 2023

Pretty sure he made it a felony for men in Florida to wear that much makeup. pic.twitter.com/HaRAZ376Gs
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) September 28, 2023

September 28

Chris Christie: I know you're watching, Donald. You're afraid

Donald onstage to 50 thousand people: Root Beer!! It was terrific. But it's different now! Very very different. It doesn't taste like it did when we were kids does it, folks (crowd boos) They must have changed it,
— ʎǝlɹɐɥƆ (@charleyonhere) September 28, 2023

wow this new biden ad is brilliant pic.twitter.com/9zcuq9Qlp9
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 28, 2023

Still thinking about that guy who told his office he didn't want a birthday party because of his anxiety, they still threw him one, he had a panic attack, and they fired him for it. He then sued and won $450k.
— Fuck You I Quit (@fuckyouiquit) September 28, 2023

Didn't know about the eighth Potter book pic.twitter.com/ck1DSeC1mT
— Ed Cumming (@edcumming) September 28, 2023

Public health agencies: "COVID is over!"

"Fearmongers on Twitter": "COVID isn't over."

PHA: "Turns out, COVID isn't over."

FoT: "Correct. COVID isn't over."

PHA: "COVID is over!"

FoT: "COVID isn't over."

PHA: "Turns out COVID isn't over."

Repeat. Repeatedly.
— T. Ryan Gregory (@TRyanGregory) September 28, 2023

Will keep posting this until it is no longer relevant. https://t.co/vQ2W2t7z40 pic.twitter.com/OGF3xO1kuE
— Sarah Lerner (@SarahLerner) September 28, 2023

They're right here https://t.co/XlZeCSPp6l pic.twitter.com/s8VhTgCxSk
— David Sirota (@davidsirota) September 28, 2023

This is the greatest moment of advocacy in the modern Congress that I have ever seen. pic.twitter.com/F2tqOsxYEJ
— Robert J. DeNault (@robertjdenault) September 28, 2023

-guy that bought an app for $44 billion and made it worth $8 billion in 1 year https://t.co/1tEGPb7nDs
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) September 28, 2023

AOC is kicking the living shit out of Biden's accusers in this sham impeachment hearing. She's exposing altered evidence and making each witness admit there is no evidence to impeach Biden for. Rs are getting steam rolled.pic.twitter.com/0aJi3gP5lg
— Tom Joseph (@TomJChicago) September 28, 2023

HAHA 😂 the reaction pic.twitter.com/gUvHVii22j
— Acyn (@Acyn) September 28, 2023

Podcast ads 10 years ago: Dear listener, everything is pretty good. A sock and underwear subscription, and you'll be complete. Also you can buy mattresses online now! Neat!

Today: Turns out gambling is your only chance to make it. Try computer therapy in the meantime. Gambling.
— Ashwin Rodrigues (@shwinyo) September 28, 2023

https://t.co/vexMlzdEoy pic.twitter.com/INfwaVmsUN
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) September 28, 2023

They are trying to erase our heritage https://t.co/jqdUXppl13
— Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken) September 28, 2023

boy math (1997) pic.twitter.com/Jqh6yVX4LA
— Sharjil Rasool (@sharjilrasool) September 28, 2023

Gen- Z exposing online elitist culture is refreshing. They should have made it into a Netflix documentary. https://t.co/y7x3cTenQt
— André (@Andre_) September 28, 2023

I know we've become numb to this in the age of Trump and celeb politicians, but why is a businessman who runs tech and car companies at the border giving us updates and being hosted by officials and law enforcement? What is the point of this? Why does he think he should be there? https://t.co/EVL3rFD0rM
— Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) September 28, 2023

He's wearing that hat backward. https://t.co/tlYQ6HRst4
— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) September 29, 2023

pic.twitter.com/YcTtdwkCJ0
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) September 29, 2023

Elon Musk went to the Texas-Mexico border to do a livestream about immigration. The video had a few technical difficulties and then eventually froze.

A few minutes ago, Musk sent a three word company-wide email: "Please fix this." pic.twitter.com/kPKfHj7bCW
— Ryan Mac 🙃 (@RMac18) September 28, 2023

This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: September 29, 2023

Latest Coverage