Airborne

They say "never judge a book by its cover" but, unfortunately, the same can't be said for straight-to-DVD indie horror films. One glance at airplane thriller Airborne and it's quite clear that if you take this flight, it's guaranteed to be a bumpy ride from the moment you hit play. The film begins with a group of passengers aboard a last flight to NYC on a dark, stormy night. One by one, the small group are easily disposed of and taken hostage. Also, adding an unnecessary twist, the airplane is transporting a demon inside a vase that's turning the remaining passengers into blue-eyed killers. Although this premise sounds worthy of a lazy Sunday afternoon viewing, the film lacks any engaging value, reminding viewers of forgettable airplane thrillers like Flight. As much fun as it is to watch Mark Hamill blatantly cash in on a couple days of work and listen to Alan Ford say the word "fuck" more times than Eddie Murphy in Raw, the film's plot holes, cop-out off-screen death scenes and unsatisfactory special effects are just too disappointing to enjoy even on a "so bad, it's good" level. Even the synopsis fails, revealing a plot point that spoils the identity of the killer 30 minutes in. Airborne may have a poorly written script and a premise that's extremely limited by its low-budget, but it does have one redeeming line of dialogue that any viewer will identify with: "I wish I never boarded this flight."