The Girl Next Door

The fact that The Girl Next Door is from the director of The Animal and the writing team that brought us My Baby's Daddy isn't exactly a tally in the positive column when deconstructing this failure of a film. With every teen comedy trying to absolutely erase the line of good taste, it was actually surprising that there wasn't more dreadful porn-themed scripts floating around Hollywood. It's just a shame that whatever hope there was for Elisha Cuthbert to be a credible actress has instead seen her inch just a little closer to Tori Spelling status with this film. Matthew (the actually promising Emile Hirsch) seems to be destined to go as far as he desires in this world, but he's got a ways to go before he can impress Danielle, who happens to live next door with her parents while taking a break from her day job as an adult film superstar. Of course we know that Danielle is going to bring Matthew out of his straight-laced lifestyle with sure-fire tactics such as making him swim in other people's swimming pools and skipping class. Rebel, rebel! Sure enough, they fall in love but will he be able to get over the fact that his new girlfriend has sex on film, and can she escape from the clutches of her evil manger/pimp through a sea of implants? The Girl Next Door actually starts off somewhat charmingly and looks like it might be a small sleeper comedy, but as soon as Elisha and the porn twist take shape, things become a third-rate screwball comedy with a sex joke every 30 seconds. Sure, there's the occasional moment where you'll laugh, but it's not enough to make up for all the times you'll cringe as you see comedy in Hollywood reduced to a state where Weird Science is starting to look like a masterpiece. (Fox)