Transformers: Dark of the Moon [Blu-Ray]

The basic tenet of auteur theory is that any given director essentially remakes the same movie over and over again in an effort to perfect their message or craft, communicating to the world what they think might be beautiful, flawed or problematic. In such, the act of reading a film, or interpreting its intentions and how it either succeeded or missed its mark, becomes an analysis of psyche, wherein art as expression is an extension of the self. If ever it is unclear, an existing resume of work provides context, revealing either similarities or deliberate thematic and stylistic differences in content, creating a trajectory or deliberate detour, working as a continuous mode of identity. In understanding this, tackling the works of commercial director Michael Bay bridges the gap between amusing and depressing, giving meaning to the statement, "Sometimes it's just better not to know." Having come from a background of directing music videos, commercials and those "arty" Playboy centrefold videos where girls with plastic breasts pour milk on themselves in the desert, Bay's intentions are purely id-based and aesthetic, embracing the crude consumerist simplicity of Americana with an undiscerning teen boy eye. His films have a similarly desultory and superficial aim, frenetically spewing visual stylizations and products at the screen nonsensically with little consideration for tone, continuity or purpose. Actors occasionally make snide comments, purporting base male fantasies by overcoming male bonding hiccups while saving the world, or country, from overly simplified villains or catastrophic events, but the focus is mostly on the ensuing peripheral carnage and surrounding cleavage, typically without any purpose. And in the midst of his drunken online rants — constantly reiterating his belief that box office success means he's making "good" movies — he's also made it clear that glossy action isn't even within his lexicon of interest anymore, making a work like Transformers: Dark of the Moon little more than a patronizing ode to advertising and marketing. This film, wherein Shia Lebeouf again helps the Autobots fight the Decepticons, in a power bid to take over the world — this time involving an abandoned Cybertronian spacecraft on the moon that holds an intergalactic bridge of sorts — is little more than a chaotic vessel for eye-popping visuals, cheesy dialogue and pornographic ass shots of Megan Fox's replacement, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. And it's perfectly fine that a commercial product not mask its rudimentary Republican simplicity, paying tribute to an entire generation of people raised with point-and-click, immediate gratification and absurdly short attention spans. But couldn't it be an hour-and-20 minutes of pure action and ass shots rather than two-and-a-half hours of completely incoherent and incompetently told "story" and goofy character interactions? Since Michael Bay seems completely aware that he has absolutely nothing to say beyond, "America: Fuck yeah," having ditched any efforts at story in favour of minor aesthetic improvements in each subsequent film, maybe he could cool it a notch and not waste our time with awkward commentary from John Turturro or supposedly comedic scenes of Alan Tudyk reprising his role from the Sandra Bullock's 28 Days. It's like adding insult to injury, bloating a work with no significance just because people are foolish enough to pay for it. Of course, this could be an intentionally masochistic work of brilliance, if considered from that perspective. Similarly, this Blu-Ray release of the film, which includes a DVD and digital copy, has no supplemental material, suggesting a later release to maximize cash earning potential, again, from those gullible enough to pay for it.