The Transporter 2

When a film isn't even 90 minutes long, you know something is wrong. Clocking in at 87 sparse minutes (extensive credits included), this mindless action flick is perfect for quenching your thirst for short bursts of excitement, partial nudity and ridiculous fight scenes. For any fans of the similarly mindless original, this slightly cuter (there is a small child involved), slightly slower sequel won't disappoint. For any fans of actual cinema, you likely have no interest in this film to begin with, and justifiably so. When Frank Martin's (Jason Statham) little buddy Jack Billings (an overly precocious Hunter Clary) is kidnapped in an attempt to extort his wealthy family, Martin kicks into action as the Transporter, a more ridiculous, self-employed version of James Bond. Car chases, fire hose fights and a ski-do/school bus battle follow, leaving the viewer entertained, if not enlightened. If brainless action sequences are your thing, this movie delivers in spades, so while the film is essentially garbage, it is nothing if not massively entertaining in its ridiculousness. (Fox)