Helloween

While Hamburg is where legendary power metal outfit Helloween are from, with the release of this ludicrous compilation, it seems to be what their brains are made of. Whoever dreamed up this concept was clearly not in a sober state of mind and should relinquish power of attorney. Essentially, instead of slapping together a typical greatest hits package, the band opted to re-record their most popular tunes. That never works out well to begin with, since later versions generally lack the power and hunger that made the originals so awesome. However, Helloween have taken the situation a step further, turning everything into acoustic/symphonic versions. Sure, that was probably a blast for them, but those of us that have to hear this metallic muzak pulled from six of their albums would rather have a gasoline enema than endure such tripe again. EZ rock stations have more balls than this goofy debacle, which even John Tesh couldn't get behind. There have been some questionable moves in the world of metal before, but all have been rendered null and void when compared to such atrocious crap as this.