Main Squeeze

Vancouver’s sultan of sardonic satire, Geoff Berner, has written a book called How To Be an Accordion Player. Okay, it’s more of a booklet than a book. And, er, there don’t appear to be any actual tips to bring the reader any closer to actual squeezebox mastery. Instead, Berner prefers to share his wisdom through alcohol advocacy and political advice ("No country that has committed genocide can make decent accordions”). All those bass buttons are meant for playing "Louie Louie,” but this booklet is populated by Arab poets, Zulu emperors, paranoid schizophrenics and Canadian prime ministers. Most importantly, remember that any musical mistakes you make on your learning curve will always pale next to the time that Josef Stalin inadvertently massacred everyone on the guest list for his daughter’s wedding.