Teengirl Fantasy

"Portofino"

BY Cam LindsayPublished Apr 8, 2008

I feel like I'm stuck on repeat, but I still feel there is little more frustrating than finding a hot new track and discovering there is next to nothing to discover about the artist. The marvellously christened Teengirl Fantasy are two students from Ohio named Logan and Nick. And that’s about all I can tell you.

The music itself, however, has the potential for thesis-long raving. Despite sounding like it was birthed from a Saturday afternoon filled with boredom, a one-litre jug of Ecstasy and an easy-to-use software program like Cakewalk, "Portofino” (oddly named after a small Italian fishing village) is a lo-fi odyssey filled with the kind of imagination I wish filled this column every day. Essentially though, it’s like Girl Talk illegally remixing Lemon Jelly drinking Crunk Juice with Lil’ Jon and the Ying Yang Twins. Got that?

Somehow, even better than the tune are the websites that represent Teengirl Fantasy. Hop on over to their MySpace and you’ll find a looped clip of Jean-Claude Van Damme in a lycra muscle suit shaking his giblets on a playground. And yet, the best is saved for their Angelfire homepage — yep, filled with the usual hideous graphics and user-unfriendly layout, which really does look like a teen girl devised it for her grade ten novice website design course. (Note the effort put into spelling "BiOzZz ov da Boyz” and the blatant "kewl site” swank.)

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